Listen

Food

Somewhere
Along the line of my life
I began to despise food

I never used to be like this
I never used to think of weight
But it's all I think of
The roll of fat underneath my chin
The folds on a stomach I want flat
The foods that are causing that
The foods I need to get rid of

There are good days,
Weeks, sometimes
Where I don't think about it
I don't feel the fat under my chin whenever I look down
I don't mind the rolls in my stomach whenever I sit
I don't think about what's on my plate
I just eat

But the bad days are becoming more frequent
I can't look down without feeling self conscious
I can't sit without a rigid posture, but even that doesn't help
I can't look at a plate of food without imagining how much weight I'll gain from it

I can't not think about food.

I can't go on like this.