For you - Ashton Irwin

Ch.6 "Hurts So So Bad"

It wasn't until I got in my car and started driving that I truly started to realize what just happened.

I just lost my love of my life. My best friend. My soul mate. My anchor.
Now we're done in a matter of hours of him being home.
I feel like I over reacted .

I feel like I should've just stayed oblivious.

But I refuse to be dumb.

I refuse to let my self sit in the dark acting like everything's fine when it isn't .

It felt odd kissing him yesterday. I knew something was off.
I also knew because he had a hickie on his neck this morning .

Partially why I bitched at him. And I know for sure I didn't give him it. And neither did Luke , Calum , Or Mikey.

Speaking of the boys, I need somewhere to stay now and only one person came to mind.

Ashton.

When I was 14 I ran away for a summer and lived with him. After a week or so my parents found out and kind of just brushed it off and let me live there for a while. His mom not caring that I took up their spare bedroom for a few months. But after that summer, I would stay long periods of time at his house .

My head was all over the place but I guess my hands and feet knew exactly what to do.

Looking at the time , I notice it's only noon and Ashton should be up. Unless he's not home but I doubt he'd leave his family while he's on vacation.
Within minutes my car pulled into his 4 car driveway. I recognized Ashton's car he got when he was 16 sitting in the drive way. I haven't been here in four years. I hope I'm welcomed .

Walking up the front porch , I knocked on the door 3 times before taking a step back and waiting.
The door opened to Ashton with no shirt and a confused expression.
"B, what's wrong ? Why are you crying ?" He asked with worry in his voice .

It was then I forgot I was crying , yet I remembered the reason for it.

"Ashton I need somewhere to stay. And I know you hate me right now but I just really need my best friend ." I sobbed out.

"Don't worry about it. What happened though ?."

"I'll explain if you let me in" I practically begged. It was freezing out here.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Come on. Just go upstairs and to my room . I'll be up there with snacks and drinks."
I did as told and noticed Ashton's parents weren't home.

The guys 22 years old and still hasn't moved out . But I understand because he's never home so what's the point on wasting money on a house you'll never be in.

I'm in Ashton's room observing the slight changes in it. Only noticing new comforters and another rolly chair next to his old broken one.
When I was 17 I was wrestling Ashton and accidentally threw the chair out the window. We brought it back up to the room and thought it was cool because the back rest broke and made it recline a little. He never bothered to throw it out.

Moments later Ashton walks in with two turkey and muenster cheese sandwiches and hot chocolate. He knows I love weird combinations .
He was also holding something behind his back.

"Ashton Did I ever tell you how much I loved you? " I laughed as I took a bite from my sandwich.
"Well you can tell me after I show you this" he then pulled a bag from behind his back. I opened it to find and jar of pickles and a bottle of ketchup.

"Ashton !" I yelled while hugging him.

"It's been years since I last had this! " I shouted , I wanted to cry since I was so happy.

"Why haven't you ate them? They're not expensive or hard to find." Ashton asked as he picked up his sandwich.

"Well uh, Jai  doesn't like the smell of pickles. He gets so mad if I buy them." I said while hanging my head low.

"Hey, what's going on? Why are you here ? I'm not complaining bu-" I cut Ashton off

"Ash, " is start and place my food back on the tray.

"Ash. Jai's been cheating on me!" I sobbed loudly .
Ashton mumbled a "oh no" then wrapped me into a hug.

"Blaire , I am so sorry." He whispered and stroked my hair.
"I'm so so sorry" he whispered again.
I simply shook my head and cried heavier into his shoulder.

"We were supposed to get married ! Have a gorgeous family ! Have a wonderful future . He had to go fuck it all up " I sobbed .

I couldn't get over  this. No matter how many pickles dipped in ketchup I had, I just couldn't seem to get over this heartbreak.

"Ashton this hurts. Physically. I feel like he had the choice to surgically remove my heart and throw it away but instead he just ripped my heart out and used terrible torture methods on it . This hurts so fucking bad" I whine , clenching my chest where I think my heart would be.

"Blaire, I understand. If I could, I would make this pain go away. Every piece of your heart would be glued back together if it was up to me" he placed my head in the crook of his neck and kept stroking my hair.

"B, you can stay here as long as you'd like. Don't worry. Just relax for now ." He whispered and kissed my forehead.

"But uh, we gave Harry your bedroom . He grew out of his crib in my moms room and now he has his own which was your old room. But you can sleep in here , I'll take the old twin bed and sleep downstai-" he rambled and with each word he grew out of breath .

"Ashton relax " I slightly giggled while placing a hand on his bare chest.

"I will sleep in the basement with the twin bed. It's fine"

"No no no , you're terrified of the basement. I'll pull it into here. We can have sleep overs just like old times." Ashton smiled with a huge cheesy face.

"Ash I just need a nap." I yawned and snuggled into my best friend.

"Go ahead, my moms coming home with dinner later. I'll stay here till you wake up" he smiles and leans back so me and him are both comfy.

"Ash, thanks for allowing me to do this. I love you best friend. "
Ashton sighed .
"I love you too best friend"

*short chapter alert*