Beating Hearts : A PaNi FF

Chapter 6

Niti

I saw the serene landscapes pass us by at alarming speeds even as he further stepped on the accelerator making the car go faster still, leaving the bustling city behind. I willed myself to keep my mouth shut and continued looking out of the window, enjoying the change in scenery from the noisy traffic of Mumbai even though the speed made my stomach a little queasy. I recalled the slightly offended expression on his face earlier when I had referred to his car as 'a stupid piece of junk' and I figured he wouldn't appreciate me schooling him on the importance of driving within speed limits either. Moreover, he seemed to enjoy driving even though it was tad too fast as per my taste.

My mind automatically wandered to the shocked expression that had graced his face when he had stopped me from getting in my usual car, apparently hurt that I hadn't remembered that he had told me he would pick me up. In my defence, I really had thought he didn't mean it. When I was away from his magnetic influence, and the rational part of my brain started working again, I had come to the conclusion that all that had happened that fateful night was a pleasant distraction from him. A welcome break from the routine.

Just as an ambitious reader occasionally flips through the pages of a exciting book that was not his preferred genre, to acquire a varied taste, to see what the other side was all about, but with no intention of ever reading it completely till the last chapter. They might be intrigued and fascinated by it for a few moments, enamoured by the prospect of exploring something new but it ultimately amounts to only just that.

The thrill of discovering something new -- a distraction.

They would never be able to truly appreciate the story or characters, always in a hurry to move along to the next exciting book on the book shelf.

But I come from that side of the world that believed that you shouldn't read the prologue of a book if you did not intend to read its epilogue. No matter how appealing the story or characters might be, if you didn't intend to reach the last chapter, one probably shouldn't open the book to begin with.

I didn't want to be the unfinished chapter of his life or a welcome distraction in his daily routine.

I did not want to dwell on what it meant to me, too afraid about what I might find if I analysed it closely, but I could say with absolute conviction that once the heat of the moment would pass, once this seemingly mystical night would be over he would be back to the strange boy I had known all this while. Even when he had entwined my hands with his and categorically stated that he intended to kiss me again, though my heart had fluttered slightly and in my weakest moment I had meekly nodded my approval, not able to deny my heart's desire in that moment, but once the passion of the night had subsided and I had regained control of my senses again, the haze of emotions that had clouded my vision and judgement cleared away.

Until he had appeared this morning, catching me by surprise and throwing every bit of my reasoning to the winds.

He had appeared out of nowhere, demanding answers from me like he had every right to be asking those questions and like this was something we did every day. I was left stunned and rendered speechless, not able to put his actions or reactions into perspective even as he had orchestrated this little drive, which had left me feeling restless and agitated.

What did he truly want?

I had to almost bite the insides of my mouth to keep from speaking out those words aloud, yet he seemed to notice nothing out of the ordinary as he continued driving merrily away. I sighed inwardly in frustration, giving up trying to fit this unusual turn of events into neat boxes of rational thinking.