Beating Hearts : A PaNi FF

Chapter 1

Parth

I looked at the vast expanse of sea that stretched in front of me, calm and quiet. It was a beautiful night, and even the waves crashed gently onto the shore so as not to disturb the serenity of the atmosphere. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, just to breathe in the fresh air and absorb some of its peacefulness within. As soon as my eyes fluttered shut only one face flashed across my vision leaving me dazed. I stared at it wholeheartedly in my mind's eye absorbing each and every contour and curve of the beautiful face in detail, filing it away in my memory. I stared enamoured at the innocence in her beautiful eyes, the warmth in her captivating smile, the lusciousness of her mouth and....

I felt my body respond to my wandering thoughts and I instantly opened my eyes, shaking off the beautiful vision from my memory. I sighed in frustration and helplessness. Frustration that she had that kind of control over me and helplessness that I could not do a damn thing about it!

My mind wandered back in time to a couple of hours ago when I had her in my arms, so close that our breaths mingled and became one, that I could hear her heart thudding wildly against her chest. So close that I could feel her pulse beating erratically in her veins and feel the heat of her blush as I clutched her close to me, feeling her smooth skin under my fingers and revelling in the softness of her cheeks. I could still recall with perfect clarity the feel of her body pressed against mine, her face slightly hidden by her long silky tresses as she loomed over my vision, her eyes filled with passion and desire that were a dimmer reflection of the emotions raging in my own. My body tightened automatically as I recalled bending her over and having her under me, her body plaint and willing under mine. I could only stare at the mesmerizing vision before me in amazement and reverence as she looked up into my eyes innocently, her own eyes glazed with passion and longing, her breathing hitched and her heart beating wildly. I took all my restraint to not make her mine right then, to not wrap her lithe form all around me and kiss her senseless. I settled for pressing my lips against her forehead, putting all the longing and desire I was feeling in that one chaste kiss while my body and heart were still screaming at me for denying them what they truly longed for. I continued staring at her, never wanting this moment to end but the director's sharp voice intercepted my dazed mind to register that he had called cut and I was still lying on top of her, my fingers still entwined with hers.

I had lost control.

Again!

I sighed heavily as I recalled her vacant expression while she patiently waited for me to realize that the scene was over and I should move myself off from her. Her blank face, devoid of any emotion, was in such sharp contrast to the passion that I had seen in their depths just a few moments ago that it left me breathless and feeling cold in my heart. I could sense her unease and discomfort as I didn't move away from her instantly and it pierced my heart further to realize that she wasn't comfortable with my proximity.

I had immediately got off from her, not liking the fact that I was capable of making her feel this way. I averted my gaze from her face and looked at the director for his nod of approval. As he nodded in affirmative, she had quietly gotten up and walked away without even glancing at me. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water on me. I felt an instant tightening in my heart and an acute pain shot through it leaving me breathless.

We had done so many intimate scenes together and this was not the first time that my emotions had run wild and got the better of me. However each time that I got too carried away or absorbed in the moment I could feel her there right alongside me. I could sense that she was affected by this as strongly as me, that she was living the moment and absorbed in it as absolutely as me. It gave me a secret sense of satisfaction that it was not me alone who was feeling these conflicting emotions, that we were sailing in the same boat. Needless to say, that we never discussed about those emotions or our feelings. After the moment was over, we went back to ignoring each other and pretending that the other didn't exist. These unresolved feelings were only meant to be hidden in the deepest corners of my heart and to be revisited only in the quietude of the night when I was alone. But in those rare and fleeting moments when we both had a momentary lapse in control and reason, I could say with absolute conviction that she felt the connection between us as strongly as I.