credit to spacedoutshawn
The family dinner. Aka the most terrifying thing ever! This is especially true when it's not your family you're having dinner with but your boyfriends of a year. Things had started to move on from the honeymoon stage and it had been time to meet the parents, which would've been easier if the relationship was going smoothly. Jc had been away touring, I had been at university studying psychology, it wasn't exactly an easy time.
Sitting around the table I made a useless attempt at small talk.
"The weather has been absolutely amazing this week hasn't it?" This earned an array of nods and unenthusiastic hums of approval. Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for. Obviously I wasn't expecting a full blown conversation from such a tiny comment but just nods. Really. Not giving up on the idea of conversation I decided to turn my attention to Jc. "So, do you know when you're going back on tour." I kept my voice low, low enough for just Jc to hear it. Immediately I knew I'd said something wrong.
"This is not the place (y/n)." He hissed through gritted teeth. I may as well just of gone through the whole story of our sex life from the way he said that.
"I'm sorry, I was just wondering how long I had with you till you buggered off to some other state. Miss Caylen, did I mention how perfect this turkey is cooked?" All eyes were on us. Trying to change the subject hadn't work and even Jc's eyes were boring into the back of my head as I excused myself to use the bathroom. Apparently using the bathroom had become a two person thing as not seconds after I had left the table, Jc joined me in the bathroom.
"Do you really have to embarrass me like that ALL the time? It's petty that you think that the right time to start arguing with me is when we are eating in front of the family who I want to still be able to speak to when we leave here." His eyes had never looked so big, they were close to bulging out his skull. Seeing Jc worked up was so unusual that I almost forgot that I had to respond to him. Squaring my shoulders out I stood on my tiptoes so that I could be on eye level with him.
"When I ask a simple question I don't expect you to blow up in my face. There is something in this world called making a conversation and making one of them in an atmosphere that you could cut with a knife is not really the easiest of things to do if you hadn't noticed." I took a quick intake of breath before continuing. "I hardly see you but that isn't the reason why I asked about the tour, I thought your mum may be interested in where you're going next or maybe she would have wanted to hear about all the places you've been because them places are incredible. They are. Jc, it's just hard sitting there trying to talk to the most important people in your life when we haven't properly spoken ourselves since you've been back in the last few day. I'll meet you back home." I opened the bathroom door, popped my head round into the dining room and thanked everyone before swiftly making my way to my small fiat.
It was an hours drive home. A long and torturous hours drive home where I could reflect on how badly the night had gone. Instead of letting the thoughts erupt in my head whilst actually driving, I decided to pull into layby 10 minutes from home to give me time to think. Letting my head fall back to hit the headrest, I closed my eyes hoping it would wake me up from the nightmare that was life, to wake me up and tell me 'SURPRISE, you didn't just absolutely destroy your chances of your boyfriends parents hating you at all! We gotcha didn't we.' But that wasn't likely to happen. Hearing in the passenger side door open, I yelled a loud,
"Oh just piss off. I don't have any money mate so try your luck somewhere else." Expecting it to be some tramp looking for spare change I was shocked to see Jc sitting there, head in his hands.
"What do I have to do?" He asked, his voice fragile. Slightly confused at his question I could only say,
"Huh?"
"What do I have to do for us to be us again and for you to forgive me? I can't have you leave me (y/n). I just simply can't. The only thing that keeps me going on tour is thinking that I am going to walk through our front door and see you there waiting for me. So what do I have to do?" Was that really what he thought about on tour? It was strange hearing what was going through Jc's head apart from YouTube.I decided to leave it a while before answering, or should I say moving. I slipped from my seat and moved myself onto his lap. Lifting his chin up so he was looking at me I whispered,
"Just talk to me." Out of everything in the world that was all I wanted...to hear his voice explaining how he was feeling, what he was thinking. So that's what he did. For two hours we stayed in that position, him saying stuff like,
"They are my brother and I don't know what I'd do without them."
"Seeing the fans makes me feel like there is a purpose to my life and if I can make them happy than I am doing it right."
And my favourite of it all,
"Without my main girl I wouldn't be able to stay grounded. I love you."
Sitting there in the car, in an old layby was all me and Jc needed, all we needed to realise that together we were better, pecking his lips I crawled off his lap and started the ignition.
