Frerard

Giving Up

Have you ever felt alone in this world. People say its a big world, there are plenty of people who care about you. Well I guess that's just not true for me.
My names Gerard Way and I'm 18. When I was about ten my mom died in a terrible car accident. After that my dad started drinking heavily. He changed a lot if my mom hadn't died then my life wouldn't have went wrong, but I guess it was meant to be. My dad would come home drunk and would abuse me.
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8 years back a week after my mom died
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"Dad your home!"
"Why are you still up!" My father yelled.
"I was worried, where were you?"
"Its none of your god damn business alright? Go to bed now." He yelled.
"But dad can't I stay up for a little bit longer?"
"I said go to bed."
Stupidly enough I kept whining but I was a kid I didn't know any better. He walked over to me and certainly shut me up. He punched me square in the jaw. I ran up to my room after that. I never expected this to be happening to me. Everything changed after that night I would get beat regularly and they had certainly got worse each night. I haven't told anyone about getting abused.
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I have bright red hair and my eyes are hazel. I've been diagnosed with bipolar depression. Ive been cutting since I was 13, when I first started they were shallow cuts. But they got deeper with each time. I had almost bled out but my dad found me and took me to the hospital. I was his toy technically he just wanted me so he could take his anger out.
There have been many times when I've tried to kill myself. I've tried overdosing, hanging, and I've cut really deep but nothing seems to work. But something is going to work tonight.
I want to get away from life, and tonight I finally will. I have been planning to do this but I'm afraid of heights but I'm facing my fears to get away. At eight my dad leaves to go drinking. My plan is to go out to a bridge and jump. If I don't hit the water and drown, I'll hit the rocks on the coast of New Jersey.
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8 o'clock
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"Bye dad, have fun."
"Don't talk to me bitch"
With that he walked out. I had another idea for my plan. I ran upstairs to my room and got my blade, then ran out of the house and started heading to the bridge. I got there took the blade to my throat and cut it. Now I know for sure that if I get to scared to jump I will die anyways. I climbed up the railing and stood there. "Goodbye world." I jumped.