Family Bonds

Chapter 13, Episode 1

 "Come on, Bert." Jane held his hand, so cool and trembling. Because he feared what the doctor would say? Or that he was in pain but wouldn't admit it? "The doctor's waiting."

Bert nodded, and walked with her into the building. Jane kissed his forehead and squeezed his hand after he was settled in bed. "I'll be here when you wake up." She turned away so that he wouldn't see her chin quivering as she fought her tears.

Outside the room, she sat nervously and waited for the doctor, one foot knocking against the chair leg. When he arrived, she stood. "Tell me what's next."

He sat down with her. "First, we'll get some chest films. I don't like that cough he has. And then, we'll remove the tumor." The young doctor patted her hand. "I'll call you as soon as he's in recovery. He has a strong will to live. He wants to see you graduate and get married and have grandbabies for him to play with."

"I know." Her voice squeaked. As if that was going to happen anytime soon.

Jane returned home and cleaned the house in a fury of intense energy, trying not to think about what was happening at the hospital, what the doctor might find. When her cell phone rang, she raced for it.

"Yes?," hoping it was the doctor with good news. That they'd removed the tumor and Bert would be fine.

"Jane, this is Bruce Wingate. I have a couple who would like to see your place today. I've already called the renter on the other side and he's okay with the showing."

"Oh!" She took a deep breath and tried to sound calm. "Well, all right. But I'm expecting an important phone call—on the home phone, the one Bert uses. Do I have to leave while you're here, like before?"

"No. When I bring them over, if you'll just go outside ... maybe take a short walk down the block."

"Okay." She finished cleaning the kitchen, thinking it provident that everything was sparkling in preparation for Bert's return home, and now there was a showing. Thankful she had been able to schedule Bert's surgery over spring break, she reached for the books she had bought for her last classes of the year.

While she waited on the porch, she tried to read, but thoughts of Bert intruded and she set her book aside. Bert had been her neighbor as long as she could remember. He had run next to her with Will on the other side when she learned to ride a bicycle. Bert had attended her recitals in elementary school, sitting next to her mother and Will whenever her class performed. For two years in a row in high school, Bert hadn't missed a single drama production in which she'd participated—usually in group scenes or as a member of the chorus—even when her mom was too drunk or too sick to attend. Bert had held her hand, and her mom's, the night Will died. Bert had been with her after her mother's death. He'd moved into her mother's room so they could rent out the other side and save money so she could go back to school. Now he couldn't work anymore, but she hoped to have a teaching job soon. If only Bert could hang on until then.

His room was tidy, the way he always kept it, even on days when the pain prevented him from standing straight and he could hardly walk. She put away his shaving gear, something he'd insisted on using before leaving for the hospital that morning. She set out fresh towels and opened the curtains. The spring breeze ruffled her hair as she looked out the window. The realtor was coming up the walk, a young couple behind him, nodding as Bruce pointed out features of the little building.

Jane went to the door. "I'll wait here on the porch or in the yard. Take all the time you need," she said. When Bruce gave her a little salute, she added, "If the phone rings, call me."

The realtor's caring eyes reminded her vaguely of Oliver's. "Not to worry. You do what you need to do and let me take care of this nice couple."

She walked down to the little fence bordering the yard. Spring bulbs were coming into full bloom. She kneeled down and touched the velvety smoothness of her favorite yellow tulips, their buttery color a cheerful harbinger of later blooms to follow. Chet had sent her a bouquet of roses after the barbecue. She'd always loved roses. She went back to the porch and sat down on the steps. Inside the house, she heard the realtor talking.

Minutes later, the phone rang and she raced inside. "Hello? This is Jane. I'll be right there." She turned toward the front door. "Bruce, I have to leave. Call me if you have questions."

"Will do." His cheerful voice sounded from the back of the house.

She raced to the hospital and was in the waiting room when the doctor pushed through the double doors.

"Tell me everything."

"Let's sit down." He pulled a green cap off his head. "I was afraid we might find a mass in his lungs, given Bert's coughing. But they were clear, the good news. We took out the tumor in his stomach, and a portion of his liver. The mass had infiltrated."

"That's not good." Jane held her breath.

"And about eight lymph nodes." He glanced down at his hands before continuing. "If it has infiltrated into the bowel, we've only bought him time."

Jane bit her lip. "How much time?"

"No way to know. I'm concerned about the bloating he's experiencing. It could indicate a blockage in a blood vessel, or elsewhere. Stomach cancer is not something we like to see. And the prognosis is poor when it's this advanced. Before we took him into surgery, he apologized for waiting so long to come in. He hasn't been feeling well since last summer, but he didn't want to admit it."

Jane was stricken. Last summer?

"Men his age tend not to admit when they need help, and he didn't want you to worry. He told me that, too."

Her hands started to shake. "When can I take him home?"

"He's in recovery right now, and he's likely to be pretty groggy, even after we move him into his room. We have to make sure his bowels and bladder are working again before you take him home. Abdominal surgery can slow things down. And he's going to be weak." He glanced at her. "Will you stay with him when he comes home?"

"I'm supposed to go back to school next week, but if he needs me..." How could she manage school and work at Alice's and be at home, too? "I'll figure out something." Thank goodness I did those job interviews right after winter quarter finals.

"Let's not worry about that until we see how quickly he recovers."

"Are you going to tell him what you found?"

"I prefer to be honest with my patients. Don't you want him to know?"

"I'm not sure. Does he want to know?"

The doctor took her hand in his. "Patients often know more than we think or like to give them credit for. He probably already knows. He may not be formally educated, but he'll read it in your eyes, and in mine. I'll talk with him. If you don't want to be there, that's okay. I'll bet he'd like it if you were."

Her tears began to flow in spite of her plan to be strong. "I'll be there. It's just ... it's just ..." She blew her nose. "So hard. What about radiation? Are you going to do that?"

"I'm not sure he's strong enough. We almost lost him on the table."

She sucked in a quick breath.

"Will he be in pain?"

"You mean after he's home?"

She nodded. "You said maybe you didn't get it all."

"We can make it so he won't be in pain. Palliative care we call it. And, toward the end, you may want to consider hospice."

"What's that?"

He explained. "It will help Bert. You, too. And it's free. Hospice is a service that provides nurses or professional caretakers for the entire family. He can stay at home," he added, "if he prefers that."

She wondered where home would be, if the duplex was sold.

"Give us a call in a few hours. Or stop at the nurse's station before you leave and ask them to call you when he's awake and alert and in his room." He rose. "One more thing."

She looked at him, her sight still blurred by her tears.

"Bert's a lucky man to have such a wonderful daughter."

She smiled through her tears, unable to say a word as she walked out, wishing Chet were here to hold her.

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