Element Of Desire // Troffy // COMPLETED

-The Truth-

-The Truth-

-Trott's POV-

"What's up?" Smith asks.

"Who was the guy you dated?" I ask.

"He was eh, yeah." He mutters.

"You can tell me Smith, can't you? Do you love him?" I ask.

"I can and I do love him." He replies.

"Who was it?" I ask.

He frowns, "you won't remember."

"Remember what?" I ask.

He sighs, "forget it."

I stand there, confused.

"Actually, that's the whole reason why I'm fucked up in the first place." He groans.

"I.. Never meant to forget, I didn't mean anything." I defend myself.

"I know, I'm sorry, Jesus, I can't speak!" He complains.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it." I whisper.

He sighs again, "it's just hard, trying to keep things where they belong."

"I'm trying to remember those things, tell me them." I ask.

"What do you want to know?" He asks.

"Who do you love?" I ask.

He lays his eyes on me, "it's you, Trott."

"Me?" I whisper.

"Yeah, I love you but you don't love me." He mutters.

"You don't know that!" I complain.

"Tell me then, do you love me Trott?" He asks.

"I, I don't know." I frown.

"Then there's no need to worry." Smith claims.

"So you're giving up on me?" I ask.

"Who said that?" He asks.

"It's just, you aren't trying." I frown. 

"I'm always trying! Trying so fucking hard to stay sane so I can keep you and the others happy!" Smith yells.

Thank god the music is loud so it sounds muffled.

"But Smith, what about me? I'm scared shitless! I'm useless around here! I want a purpose to be here! You were my purpose of being here! I thought hey it won't be so bad, I get to hang out with my two best friends and actually be happy! And I'm scared because tonight was the night it happened and I was hoping that maybe deep down inside you'd realise that and then change your mind about coming here because I remember that Smith, I remember that tonight, three years ago, it all happened. I just want someone to hold me and tell me that I'm not worthless and that, they, they love me." I yell back.

He frowns, "I'll hold you, I'll tell you I love you, I'll protect you, I'll look after you, nothing's going to happen to you."

"I-I need to go home." I whisper, going to leave the room.

"Trott, d-don't leave me, please." He cries before I leave the room.

I lean against the door, listening to him.

There's a few thuds and then what sounds like muffled crying.

Trott, go home.

I pull myself together and head downstairs, bumping into some people.
Suddenly one person I bump into holds me there in place.

I look up to see who it is, Lewis.

He looks at me and shakes his head, he then hugs me tightly. I hug back.

He soon lets go and let's me continue my journey.

I squeeze past all the people and out the door.