BTS (hug me)

Chapter21:Am sorry

During school i kept on looking at taehyung but he didn't not even for once tried to look at me

Solbi like expected was around him the whole time , sometimes i saw him giggling while he was around her
I didn't know what they were saying

During lunch time we all went to the cafeteria we all sat together when suddenly tae and solbi showed holding their Troy , there was a silent
The boys seemed all annoyed

" um.... Tae can't we sit somewhere else , they don't seem pleased for me sitting here " solbi said
" you will sit here with me , and if they don't like it then the door is wide open for them to leave " taehyung said and pulled a chair back for solbi to sit

I looked at the others they all seemed annoyed and namjoon and Jin already left

Taehyung continued eating as if everything was normal , while I just played with the food infront of me
Taehyung was changed and he wasn't the old fun boy I knew before , and that's enough for me to bring me to tears

" taehyung you know the chicken is really good .... Here take a bit " solbi said and put the chicken next to his mouth telling him to taste it
" say aah" solbi tried to feed him and taehyung opened his mouth eating the piece of chicken but before that he took Aa look at me and then directly looked away my heart skipped a beat when he did that

I couldn't hold my self more with all this drama so I decided to stand up.at that moment someone put a hand on my shoulder I looked up and it was Kris
"Hi Kris"solbi said with a wide smile on her face
"Hi how are you all ?"Kris said as he sat next to me
"How are you halla "he asked me
"Am fine ,what's up"
"Well not much ... Bored "he said
I looked at taehyung who was eating he didn't even talk or something ,his eyes was only on the food
"So um you were about to stand up ?"Kris asked
"Um yea "I replied
"Ok then shall go and walk together"he said
"Yea sure "I said with a smile  , I took my Troy and walked away with him

"You can later get a room as well "I heard taehyung ,I turned and looked at him ,he kept on eating not looking at me
"Well you might do that but am not like you , using people is not my job "I said while looking into his eyes

He stopped eating ,he threw threw the spoon down and stared at me chewing the food in his mouth
"What ?you didn't like what I said !" I added ,his look for me started to scare me the madness and the anger in his face was shown really clearly

He stood up pulling the chair and walked closer to me still looking into my soul , "if you want me to apologize then you are not gonna hear it " I said he let out a fake laugh "ow really "he said
"You are sick taehyung ..." I said with a low voice
He stood there in front of me
While the others are looking at us and solbi their completely confused

"Come on halla lets go "Kris said as he held my arm
"Let go of her arm "taehyung threw a death stare at him "am not finished yet " he looked at me again

"Fuck of taehyung"I said as i pulled his shoulder to move him on my way , the next thing I knew was the Troy on my hand thrown on the ground
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT ?"I shouted at taehyung
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ? YOU ARE SICK TAEHYUNG " I shouted more

He held my wrist and dragged me out of the cafeteria his grip was so strong that I started to feel the pain
"LET GO OF ME ? YOU PYSCO " I tried to stop him but he was too strong

He took me to the garden were we usually sat  before all that fight happened and then he let go of my hand
"Why the hell did you bring me here ? How you even dare to treat me like that ? Who are you " I started to cry and let everything out while holding my hand which hurts because of the tight grip

"why are you doing this to me ?" He said with a low tried voice
" are you enjoying seeing me like this ? " he continued

"I don't to talk to a sick person like you " I said
"WELL YOU HAVE TO "he shouted
"AM SICK ? " he pointed at him self
"You think am sick ?,
But why ? You don't know "he said and walked closer to me
" didn't you ask why taehyung suddenly changed ? But no ,You like everyone else started to saying bullshit without even realizing what the fuck is going on " he said as tear began to form in his eyes
"Didn't you ask who is that girl in the beginning ?" He asked in a low cracked voice

Without even realizing it my tears fell , I couldn't look at him ,I didn't wanted to .

" she was my girlfriend "he started ,"I loved her more than anything else " he added
"I don't want to hear anything " I said
"She was the my first love , she was the person whom I thought I would never live without "he continued
"I was the happiest and the luckiest to have her , I made the most beautiful memories with her ,she was fun , lovely ,smart , pretty ,attractive "

"Stop it taehyung ,enough please
I can't listen anymore ,I have feelings as well " I said while crying and tears fell unstoppable ,he stopped for a while  and sighed heavily
" but after my parents accident and when we got bankrupt all those things disappeared and her true side finally exposed , she turned her back to me when I needed her the most , I only hoped for one hug and little sympathy from her but instead she blamed me for my parents death " he sniffed and continued
" the sickness I have now is  because of her , and like Suga said she threw me like a dog , I was hopeless and destroyed and for a while I thought that my existence doesn't make sense "

With his two hands he cupped my face and lifted my head up looking at me while his tears were coming down
" but after you showed up , everything changed and I finally was able to look up more to life and the best part was that I fell in love with you, and despite all the pressures on me and woohyun on a side , I still had a hope to win over your heart  ,but I guess that's not going to happen " I cried even harder after what he said

" and now as I got a chance I will give her the pain she gave me , I will show her the nightmares that she once gave it to me and will play with her feelings just like she did to me ,even my hyungs can't stand her cuz they know what she did to me was not something easy , they are not with me in all this but I still do it   " he said

He wiped his tears and sniffed then he took a step back
" I just wanted you to know everything ,and now I will never show up on your way again, you won't see my face again don't worry , and everything will go the way you wanted to  " he said with a weak smile
"But you need to know that you always have a special place in my heart " and with that he turned and walked away from me

At that time I wanted to run to him and hug him but instead I sat down on a bench not believing what his said
I was really stupid judging him  so fast like this , and now I feel like I lost him ...... I feel a hole in my heart

I started crying even harder ,i kept on apologizing to him in my heart and cursing at my self about how rude I was toward him ,I must've hurt him so much .

I wish I could at least hold him for last time but that seems impossible .