My Dying Wish

Chapter 1 - A Visiting Day

(a/n: bleh. I love this story, but I hate it too. It's all, like, sad and stuff D: )

It had been 4 years; 4 years since that night and a year and 8 months since he'd been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. There wasn't a day that went by that Ludwig didn't think about his promise to Feliciano or Feli's degenerating state. He tried to visit as often as he could, but Ludwig was kept busy and Feliciano had been moved to a hospital where visiting hours were strict and testing was being done almost constantly. Those at the hospital were working as fervently to save Feliciano as Ludwig was, the blond researching in his free time and studying medicine even though he already had a masters in his field of engineering.

Today, a Sunday, was one of the days that he could spend the entire day at the hospital, visiting Feli after going to the church he used to frequent and seeing the first service for the bedridden Italian boy. 

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"Ludwig? Ah, Ludwig! Ciao!" Feliciano beamed happily, his sleep hazy eyes focused on his friend.

"Feli, Guten morgen! I saw the service again this morning; I think you'll really like this one! 

The sermon was really interesting!"

Ludwig and Feliciano spent the entire day chatting and catching up, lapsing into silence only as they ate.

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(Later that evening) 

"Ludwig, you look exhausted! Why don't you call it a night, go home to bed? We can't have you getting sick." Feliciano said with a fond smile, sympathetic.

Ludwig blinked slowly, chuckling softly.

"I do suppose I'm a little tired, but I'm allowed to go into work late tomorrow, I'm not due in until noon, and we've got an hour left of visiting time!" He argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

Feliciano's eyes twinkled with mixed amusement and contentment.

"Then how about you tell me about that job you speak so highly of? I never get to hear about it!"

With a laugh, Ludwig said "Well ..." He hesitated, continuing in a quieter voice, the mirth drained from his face. "I didn't want to remind you of the world you're missing."

Suddenly, Ludwig looked at Feliciano; his eyes were full of pain, and he quickly bowed his head

"Hey," Feliciano smiled gently, putting a hand on his friend's arm. "I'm not missing anything, thanks to you."

Ludwig grimaced, taking the boy's small, delicate hand in his large, rough one, unable to look him in the eye.

"Ludwig?" He asked gently.

"I-I'm sorry," the tall blond replied, dragging the side of his palm crudely against his cheeks, clearing his silent tears. "It's just ... I shouldn't have pushed you into joining me in going out to get a drink that night, its- ... it's my fault you're like this! I'm so, so incredibly sorry, Feli!!" He let his head hang, still silently crying.

Feliciano squeezed Ludwig's hand comfortingly, resting the other hand on his shoulder and smiling sadly.

"Ludwig, hush, there's no need for you to go around blaming people, especially not yourself; there's no one to blame for this. God has a strange way of doing things, but he's got it all planned out. If I die, so be it; if I live, then that's that. There are no changing things and there's no getting out of God's plan, and blaming you only makes things worse for the both of us. Why don't we enjoy our time before it's all run out?" Feliciano chided, wearing a fond smile. He tugged gently at Ludwig's chin, making him look him in the eyes.

He wiped away the excess tears, smiling still.

"Remember when we first met?" He asked, his amusement bubbling up again. "You were so harsh, but I never gave up. You were a tough nut to crack, but I think I got through to you just fine."

Ludwig smiled gratefully.

"So much has changed since then," he said quietly.

"Not that much," Feliciano reminded him. "You're still Ludwig, I'm still Feliciano; you're still an engineer, I'm still useless."

Feliciano chuckled, his eyes bright yet weighed with fatigue, something Ludwig quickly picked up on.

"You look tired, so you should rest. Rest is the best way for you to keep yourself healthy and to get better quickly!" He announced, standing up and grabbing his overcoat from the back of his chair.

Feliciano laughed, beaming once more.

"Oh, I suppose I'm a little tired," he said, mimicking Ludwig.

The two laughed, bidding each other goodnight, ciao, and guten nacht.

(a/n: I honestly love this Feli, he's got this resigned sense of humor that I have to adore. I'm going to hate the ending for this :'P well, v&c please, and no flames! Thanks guys! :D)