Walking Out of Stride

Chapter Eight

Later, when Caleb and Elijah were back at Elijah's house, studying chemistry and researching for their project, Caleb couldn't concentrate. He kept dropping the flashcards and closing the wrong tabs in the browser window and misspelling simple words when he tried to use Google. After they'd been back for about an hour, Elijah finally said,

"Caleb, what's wrong?"

Caleb shook his head. Elijah took the laptop from Caleb's knees and placed it at the foot of the bed, then turned toward him, bumping their knees together.

"Talk to me. Please."

"Animal," Caleb sobbed.

"What?"

"Animal. Animal."

Elijah watched him for a moment, confused, and then realization dawned across his features. He pulled Caleb into a loose hug, just in case he needed to pull away, but he didn't. He leaned closer, burying his face in Elijah's neck.

"I don't want to go home," he sobbed.

"I know," Elijah whispered. He kissed the side of Caleb's head and gathered him into his lap.

"Your mom is so nice, and I know I haven't met your stepdad but I'll bet he's nice, too, and I just finally feel so normal when I'm over here, like I'm not some gross disgusting freak --"

"Caleb, you are none of those things," Elijah interrupted.

"I know," Caleb sniffled. "But after hearing it so much for so long, you start to believe it, even if you know it's not true."

Elijah's touch softened and he rested his hand on the back of Caleb's head. Big, warm, protective.

"I know," he whispered. "Believe me, I understand."

He was talking about his biological father. He had to have been.

"I know," Caleb whispered back.

For a while, they sat together like that, Caleb curled up tight in Elijah's lap. But, eventually, being so close while still being wrapped up in Elijah's hoodie, Caleb started to overheat, so he moved away. He needed to talk about something, anything, that didn't have to do with his family.

"I want you to come out with me and my friends tomorrow night," Caleb said. "There's... we always get together to do..." he trailed off, unsure of how to phrase it without sounding gross to someone who might not understand. "We collect stuff for charity," he finally said. "And I'd like you to come with us sometime."

"What time?" Elijah asked.

"9:30."

"PM?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that a little late to be doing something like that?"

Caleb bit his lip, then blurted, "Okay, so we go dumpster diving for charity. But as long as they get what they need it doesn't matter where it comes from, right?"

"Dumpster diving?" Elijah asked. His eyebrows perked and he tilted his head. "Sounds interesting."

Caleb smiled and his shoulders and back relaxed. "Yeah. So, if you want to come, wear something in black that you don't care about, and non-skid boots."

"Done," Elijah smiled. He brushed Caleb's hair away from his eyes.

"I can tell you don't want to talk about it anymore," Elijah said. "But know that I'm always here when you do."

The possibility of bringing Elijah back to his apartment would never cross Caleb's mind. They waited for Chailyn out in the front of Elijah's house, sitting on the stoop in front of the door side by side. Caleb leaned his head on Elijah's shoulder and closed his eyes.