Spin For You [Peterick]

-24-

[A/N: This chapter is crazy long so apologies (seriously it's REALLY long) but it's also probably my fave so far. Get ready for some serious fluff. *cough*and some smut too*cough* Anyway, merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all!]

Dear Patrick,

It's been a few months since my last letter. We're in a whole new year now.

And right now, if things carry on the way they are, 2006 is set to be the best year of my life. Because you've made me so much better.

I drink a little, but only as much as you do. I can do that now, have just one glass of wine, one beer, one flute of champagne, and I don't feel the need to keep going until I've lost memories and gained headaches.

I've had a couple nightmares, I mean, I wasn't expecting them to go away just like that, but most nights, I just sleep. Sometimes, I even dream, mostly about you. There was this one where I was sitting on the edge of a cliff, thinking about jumping. I thought it was going to end up being another night of sweat and tears, but then you came and sat beside me. Nothing else happened, but I remember waking up and feeling so...content, I guess. Maybe you sitting next to me is all I'll ever need.

So seeing as I no longer have to get over you, I shouldn't need to write these any more. They were meant to help me deal with the difficult times, and times aren't difficult now. But, I guess I just like to write stuff. To get the memories down in ink is like preserving them. Maybe one day I'll read these and relive the good times.

That's what I'm doing. This Christmas was the best ever, and I'm sure as hell not forgetting it.

-

Since the first date, we'd had a couple more, in between shows and stuff, and they were perfect. Then again, I could take you on a date to a sewage processing plant and it'd still be perfect. Everything's perfect with you. Jesus, you've turned me into such a sap.

It's mostly just been us getting used to being lovers. Or rather, you getting used to being my lover. It didn't take much getting used to for me. We hadn't gone much further than kissing and hand holding. At least, before Christmas we hadn't.

Joe's still kinda frosty about me and you; he doesn't trust me, and he doesn't trust you because you trust me. I only have to put and arm round you and he's shouting. He thinks it'll wreck the band. I very much disagree.

So anyway, Christmas. You've known about my family situation for a while now, or rather lack of family situation. And I've got to be honest, I was utterly petrified of Christmas. I'd always hated it, seeing everybody else smiling and giving gifts and sitting by the fire, then looking at myself, my empty house, my empty heart. For me, it was by far the loneliest time of year. You'd always invite me round to your house, and I'd always say no, because I thought I'd be unwanted and unhappy.

This year, you were more forceful.

"So Pete, Christmas Eve is the day everyone's arriving, so you're best off getting there early so you can bagsy one of the beds. Otherwise you gotta sleep on the floor. Oh, and take a spare toothbrush, my uncle has a thing for them." You'd said as we lazed on your couch, having just cobbled together a couple songs.

"What do you mean, Christmas Eve?" I said, sitting up and staring at you as if you'd been speaking Japanese.

"You know, Pete, the day before Christmas day? We've been over this." You cooed mockingly.

"But, I'm not coming for Christmas." I said, crossing my arms at you.

You just laughed. "Oh yes you are."