- After my mom gave me about $300 to go shoe-shopping and for an outfit , she dropped us off at the mall and said she'd be back by 10 , leaving us with about 4 hours in the mall. First place Malik took me was to the barbershop. After that I already felt like I was the man. I went and got my ear pierced but Malik took it out my ear and tossed me a new pair , shiny white , real diamond. I walked into the Hollister® outlet , feeling good. After grabbing a outfit and changing into it , we headed to footlocker for some new kicks. I bought a pair of white and red Jordan's. After completing my outfit , girls started smiling and saying what's up with me. Malik told me a couple of pick up lines or what not. My mom bought a new iPhone 6 earlier that day for good grades. For an 11th grader , having a 3.5 gpa throughout high school and still maintaining it's pretty impressive. Getting numbers wasn't a problem when you fresh to death and got the newest phone. By the time we got to the food court , we was chilling .
- Made plans later for doing a little something special for the ladies but in due time. After grabbing a bite to eat at the Chinese Café , we went to the movies to kill time. Once my moms picked us back up and realized how I looked in fresh gear. Ctfu. At least I thought. She was pissed at the fact I was dressed up as a hoodlum , like one of the boys on the block . She worried too much that I would be a nobody and wanted me to do better for myself. Shit , if I'd known what I know now , I would've worried my damn self. Her shift usually switched depending on what time she was called in. She dropped us off at the station to make our way home cause she had to be at work by 11. My pops wasn't really around during this time. Nobody really knows what he was doing. We pretty much guessed he was at a girlfriend's house or at my grandmas but whatever.
- Once we got back home to my free crib , Malik thought it was cool to call some jawns over from around the corner. Not to lie or sweeten up the story or nothing but a kid was nervous. Once he saw how nervous I was , he said "Relax yo , let me do all the talking" laughing. When they got there he pulled them to the side to have a little talk with them , leaving me to think of pick up lines on my own. Then he had a grin as he walked one to the guest room and the other sat on the couch. I didn't know what to say because I'd never seen her before , but then I thought , "This my house, I can do as I please". So I walked over to her and asked her name. She act like she couldn't hear me the first time I spoke. Once she did speak she said "I'm sorry , what did you ask". Leaving me to wonder rather she was crazy or just had a lot on her mind. In most cases , number 2. I tried to get her to talk about it but then she just brushed me off like it was nothing. I guess some nuts are hard to crack.
- Being generous as my mother raised me , I offered her a beverage. She opened up a little after that. She asked if I'd smoked before. I told her no , as calmly as possible. "Can I spark this?", she asked. "Yea", I said still trying to play it cool. She lit her blunt in front of my face and blew the smoke right in the air , so diligently. She offered it to me , so I took it. I choked on it the first couple of times, not being able to handle it. When I first stood up my knees begun to become weak and I had extreme laughter and was really hungry.
- This is how I knew Malik left me the right girl , once she helped me to my room , she actually went down into the kitchen and cooked me something to eat. Soon to find out , cooking was her passion , she just was never given a shot. We were both stoned out of our minds after smoking about another 2 or 3 blunts. She laid with me in my bed. I didn't get any pussy that night , Malik laughed and bragged how his girl was screaming and this that and the other but I honestly didn't hear all that. Felt like I was zoned out from the world with her. It may seem like a down side but hey , I was making progress. To me , I made a new friend that day.
- A couple weeks go by and we eventually started chillin together very often. Sometimes on my porch , sometimes on her's. We went to the movies and a couple of other places and what not. For a moment there I thought I had a girlfriend. Sadly , mistaken when one day I came to her house and when she opened it a guy had his arms wrapped around her and kissing her. They were laughing and playing , while I was on the couch looking like the dickhead of the year. We started smoking and shit like usual , really relaxed my mind on the fact that the only girl I've ever really liked had a guy. I dipped after about a hour or two. When I got home I couldn't think in my head what I did wrong. Like I thought about how nice I was to her , and how I always cheered her up , and made her smile. Hell , I even bought her shit , like weed and food sometimes. Fucked up how the world do you huh ?
- Malik called me the next day I was at the crib. "Yo , what's good with you and jawn?". I had to tell 'em the truth , "Nah , she ain't mine , she got a nigga". You see , he's the type of friend that if you want to go do something , he's down for it whenever and however. True ass friend honestly. He ended up giving me tips and shit to try and get her back or whatever. It honestly made no sense. By the end of the phone call , maybe 15 seconds later , this nigga was on my porch. Soon as I walked out to get some fresh air and smell the rain I seen him in the corner sitting in the chair. Rain seemed to calm me at times , I like the smell and the sound and it relaxes me because it's water but it can change everything. The day , the temperature , the location. Anytime it pleased.
- I step out the door. I said "What's up yo". "Chillin". In philly it was normal for you to chill on your people's porch , nothing major. I grabbed my umbrella and my moms came out to say goodbye cause she was going back to work 3 to 11 then 11 to 7. You know what I'm talking about , that double shift that you be happy to see her leave to. I walked her to the car with my umbrella and all , "Bye , and don't mess up my house , I'll be home in the morning". I sparked a Dutch soon as I seen her drive down the block and turn.
- We sat there for a minute talking about plans and what not. As soon as I get up to step off the porch , she stepped up. By she I mean Jamie , the girl who I liked but has a nigga. Smh , bullshit. She said "Wassup". Me trying to play it cool , "Nothing". She could tell by my face that I wasn't really going for anything. You can't explain another nigga having his arms around you and kissing you and you letting him. Ain't shit you can say to me in my book. "Come here". I ain't really want to go to her cause I was still pissed at the fact that I thought she liked me but had a nigga. She gripped my face in a playful way and said "It's not what you think", laughing. Shit wasn't funny in my book but you know , weird shit happens. "I know what you thinking and get out your feelings".
- There wasn't really shit she could say to me that mattered. I was kind of caught up in that "get out your feelings" moment. I didn't know feelings was a bad thing. Most people nowadays say their heartless , and don't give a fuck but I for one , cared. Niggas and jawns thought that saying that shit and being that shit was cool , but I wanted to stand out and be myself. "He's my ex and it was a one time thing to see if we could get back together but we're not, trust me." Trust you ? Bitch you just made me want to ignore yo ass for the rest of my life and you talking about trust ? Fuck is you thinking. Of course I didn't say that out loud but I needed proof. She told the story of how they dated and she had a friend that he didn't like and she chose the friend over him because she knew he was messing with other jawns , she just played along with it until she had another boul . Typical thinking of any average jawn , date a boul , fuck , get cheated on , wait until the right boul comes along , leave the cheater alone and go on about her life. In this case , boul she thought was mr right was mr wrong , they didn't even talk about sex or anything and the nigga still cheated the first week they went out. Ridiculous huh ?
- We headed in my house and talked about it more after another Dutch , Malik was listening to the whole convo and I was zooted. I ordered a pizza , plopped down on the couch and chilled. She sat next to me and told me to understand where she was coming from , but I couldn't , I hadn't had a girlfriend before. I just nodded as if I understood every word she said. "I ain't know you wanted me?" , she said. With the funniest face I've ever made I said "yeah." Ctfu. " why ain't you tell me ". It blew my shit whenever girls asked stuff like that , because why would I admit my feelings for you when I don't even know how you feel back? I'm saying I don't have feelings but I wasn't trying to get them hurt for following some fairytale ass dream. "I thought you'd say it first but once I seen you and boul , I didn't want to say shit". She blush "nah , you should've said it first". Then we kissed.
