Idol

|| Chapter 3: Never Again ||

- Phil -
I found one of my old school bags and decided to use that as a escape bag. I rummaged around my room and in cupboards until I had a reasonable amount of clothes (2 shirts, 1 pair of jeans, and an old jumper that my mum gave me). I will just have to keep the underwear I'm wearing on as an extra pair, I could turn them inside out.

Looking at the clock, I've got a few hours left until it's time to leave. I've planned it all out you see. Wait until Damien gets home and has passed out drunk downstairs, because that is more than likely what will happen, and then climb out my bedroom window and begin the journey to the concert. Perfect! Even though it is planned out perfectly, I am still a little bit scared. I mean I've never done something like this, disobeying Damien, sneaking out, using the computer, all of those plus my daily beating, I'd probably need medical attention after he'd be done with me! That is why this has to work, because if it doesn't, I'm dead. Literally DEAD.

Life was quite good until Damien came along, and then he ruined everything. My mum, my school, my family, my everything. I don't know what I did to deserve what he does to me, I've never done a bad thing in my life (except for the time I stole a candy bar from the shops but I was 5 and I wanted it so bad.) He pulled me out of school after mum died, claiming that 'I needed to grieve' and that 'time away from school will do him good'. Bull-to-the-shit. Even though I got bullied immensely, I would much rather be at school right now than at home, always scared of Damien and not knowing what he would do next. 

But, ever since that day that  I heard Dan Howell on the radio, I've never stopped thinking about him. I sometimes have dreams that he comes and saves me from this nightmare, but, he never comes. I don't blame him, who would want to help a poor, weak, defenceless boy. No-one. That is the point, no-one wants to help me, because everything Damien says to me and calls me is obviously true. I can't believe I used to think people actually cared about me, as if. But, I always have this little feeling that Dan does, just with his music and the emotion that comes out of it, its as if he actually made those songs just for me, and he cares so much, even though he has never met me.

I look at the clock again, It's been about an hour and a half. Great! Only about 30 minutes to go until I can actually leave this hell hole of a home. 

The door downstairs opens, and I can hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. "I'm coming for you Philly, I'm coming to hurt you, hurt you like I hurt your mother!!" A voice slurred, coming ever closer every moment. Damien. Oh shit! No no no no no no no no. This cannot be happening. I cannot let this happen, and if he comes in here and sees me with a bag full of clothes, then I'm done. So fucking done.

My bedroom doors slams open and Damien is standing there, pissed off his head. "You fucker!! What is that bag??" He yells at me, taking small steps towards me. 

"I-I don't kn-know Damien, It was a-al-already there." I stutter out, trying not to cry. Honestly, I am terrified right now, he has never been this angry and he is also drunk. That does not bode well for me.

"YOU LIAR!!! YOU WERE TRYING TO RUN AWAY!! WHY WOULD YOU WANNA RUN AWAY?? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'D NEVER HURT YOU!!" He is still advancing closer to me, I put my hands up to try protect myself, It doesn't work."SEE, I'M LYING NOW FAGGOT!!!" He takes his belt off in one quick motion and brings it up to me. I then feel stings, and my face get wet with tears. Damien starts choking, probably on vomit, and runs to the bathroom. I open my eyes a bit and see that he is not there any more, deducing from the sounds of vomit coming from the bathroom.

I take this as an opportunity to grab my bag and run downstairs and out the door, abandoning my 'perfect' plan from earlier. I keep running, and running, and running until I see a huge building, with 'Dan Howell, Musician Extraordinaire' illuminating off the building.  I jog over to the side door to see a security guard at the door, asking for tickets. I wait in the line, until I reach the front where I am the last person to want to get in. 

"Tickets." The guard asks me looking bored and tired. I don't want to annoy him further but I thought I could just buy tickets here? 

"Erm sir I was hoping I could just buy a ticket here? I have money and everything." I try explain to him, but I can tell from his expression that there is no chance of me getting in.

"No tickets, no entry." I felt my body drop to the ground, and my heart stop beating. Everything I had done, going against Damien, running away, I would be sure to pay for that all when he got hold of me. Everything was starting to go black, and I knew I was loosing consciousness as I had done so many times before. But, for a different reason this time. The last thing I heard was footsteps run towards me, and shouting, a lot of shouting. 

"Get him inside now, he obviously needs medical help!!" A voice said.

"What's your name?" The strange voice said again. 

"Phil. Phil Lester." I replied with a small voice, I didn't have enough energy to say anything else.

"Never again Phil. Never again. I promise." The voice said again. I managed to peer my eyes open a little bit to see Dan Howell. He was the voice who wanted to help me. He is the one who promised that it would never happen again, and for some reason, I believed him. He is the one who actually cared.

Everything then went black.