The Place We Use to Love | Larry Stylinson

The Place We Use to Love

I walked across an empty land.

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.

I felt the earth beneath my feet.

Sat by the river and it made me complete

Harry sighed as he took Louis' shaky hand in his own larger one. He knew Louis couldn't help it. He knew Louis couldn't physically keep up with him. And it wasn't fucking fair. That's what made Harry so pissed. He wasn't annoyed with Louis. He was annoyed with the world.

It wasn't long before Harry had to get Louis back to the hospital. He wasn't even suppose to take him out in the first place but luckily Louis' nurse loved the young man. She loved both of them, honestly. Everyone did. But that didn't mean everyone at the hospital was willing to break rules for the two boys.

"Lou? You still doing okay?" Harry was always worried.

"I'm fin-fine H. Just a little tired." Louis smiled weakly. Harry didn't like the way his cheek bones stuck out. It broke his heart.

Harry just smiled back and gave the smaller hand a squeeze as he continued to pace himself down the road that led to their destination. Harry had it all planned out. They were to visit the place they had their first kiss and have a nice romantic picnic even though Louis hasn't had much of an appetite since the diagnosis.

He looked back and saw the older boy admiring the view around them after not being out of the hospital room in a few weeks. The sky was a perfect shade of blue, not a single cloud. Almost like Louis' eyes before they turned into a horrible shade of gray Harry failed to recognize. The trees stood tall and strong, Louis couldn't help but envy them.

He was given about 2 weeks. When the doctors told them the news, Louis wasn't fazed. He knew it was getting bad. He knew it wasn't going to be much longer. What broke him was Harry's screams. The way the younger boy failed to calm down and breath even after Liam took him out of the room and held him in his own shaky arms. In fact, Harry didn't calm down until he fell asleep on the floor in the waiting room. It broke Louis' heart. Louis wasn't scared of dying. Not at all. But he was scared of the aftermath he'd leave, how Harry would react.

It took Louis a few minutes to realize where Harry was taking him. When he figured it out, tears filled his eyes. This place was so special. They kept walking slowly until they reached their destination, a still blue river surrounded by flowers and park benches. Louis smiled a weak smile as Harry helped him sit on one of the benches. He took a deep breath and breathed in the fresh air and the beautiful scent of roses. After being stuck inside for so long, Louis felt free to be outside by Harry.

oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.

So tell me when you're gonna let me in.

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Harry took a seat beside Louis and the older boy pulled Harry's head to rest on his bony chest. Even though Louis is sick, he still had to be the big spoon, of course. Louis didn't realize Harry was crying until he felt the moisture soak into his sweater. It made him shiver. He was always cold now a days.

Anyways, he rubbed a shaky hand up and down his boyfriend's back and held Harry's bigger body closer to his own weak form.

"H? What's wrong baby?" Louis whispered, even though he knew.

"I-I don't want you to leave me, Louis. How am I suppose to ever fall in love again? I love you more than I'll ever love anyone. We were suppose to be forever. I'm getting older, Lou. I'm 22. We were gonna start a family. I need something r-real. I need...I need you. I fucking need you! You're where I begin, you're where I end. You're everything I am, Louis. I fucking love you. Wh-why are you leaving?"