One Shots/Short Stories

I Can't Lose You

Hannah and Grace were watching a movie in Grace's living room when a wave of panic hits Grace like a ton of bricks. Immediately Grace can feel it. The onset of a panic attack. Grace was always conscious about hiding her panic attacks. Mamrie of course knew she had them and she knew exactly how to comfort Grace but Hannah on the other hand had never experienced one herself, or seen Grace have one. She wasn't even sure if Hannah knew she suffered from panic attacks. Knowing this made Grace's anxiety skyrocket because Hannah was sitting on her couch sipping some warm tea and watching the movie that was playing on the TV.

Quickly Grace sits her drink down and glances at Hannah.

"Uh Han?"

"Yeah?" Hannah replies without looking from the screen.

"I'll be right back." Grace says a slight panic in her voice.

"You okay dude?" Hannah asks hearing the small panic in Grace's voice. 

Grace just shakes her head and runs from the room. Reaching her bedroom Grace firmly shuts the door and curls up on her bed, trying to calm herself down before the panic attack overtakes her. 

You have to calm down Grace. You can't let Hannah see you panic. She can't know. 

As thoughts race through Grace's head, her breathing becomes ragged and her hearing dims to where she can only hear the blood pounding in her ears. She's now full on panicky and there's nothing she can do but curl into a ball and try not to make any noise so Hannah won't suspect anything. What Grace doesn't know is that Hannah is getting more worried the longer that Grace is gone.

Man, Grace has been gone for a while now. Maybe I should go check on her. Hannah thinks to herself. So she sits her drink down and walks down the hallway to Grace's bedroom.

"Smells?"  

No answer.

"Grace, you okay in there?" Hannah calls and knocks gently.

Again there is no answer.

"Gracie?" Hannah says a third time as she gently pushes open the door.

The sight shocks Hannah but she quickly composes herself and walks over to Grace's bed. Reaching out gently Hannah places a hand on Grace's shoulder only to have Grace shrink away. Hannah isn't too sure what is happening but she has an inkling. Hannah sits on the bed and just waits. There's no other noise in the room other than Grace's staggered breathing. Once Grace's breathing begins to even out Hannah speaks.

"Gracie, sweetie what happen?" 

Grace's mind is going a thousand miles a minute. She's been caught having a panic attack by her best friend who now probably thinks that she is a complete freak. Grace's breathing picks back up because now she's worried that one of her best friends will abandon her and she can't lose Hannah as a friend.

Hannah reaches out and places a gentle hand on Grace's shoulder.

"Gracie, please tell me what happen" Hannah pleads.

Grace looks at Hannah with tears already forming in her eyes. Her shoulders are up to her ears and she's terrified. She knows can't lie her way out of this.

"I...I had a um..." Grace begins softly. Hannah doesn't say anything she just sits quietly because she knows that Grace will tell her but she doesn't need to push her or she will just shut down.

"I had a panic attack and I didn't want you to see it happen so I came in here hoping that you wouldn't follow me." Grace says quietly not making eye contact with Hannah.

Grace takes a deep breath and continues with her monologue.

"I've had anxiety for years now and I've had my fare share of panic attacks but I hate having other people see me panic, especially my friends because I had someone I thought was a friend call me a freak because I had a panic attack while I was with them. Mamrie knows I have anxiety and panic attacks and she know's exactly what to do when they happen. She's also been trying to get me to tell you before you saw one happen but I was scared Hannah. I was scared that when I told you, you would think I was crazy and leave me and our friendship behind. Hannah, I can't lose you. I can't."

Grace was crying by this point and she, if possible tightened herself into a smaller ball on her bed. Her shoulders were still by her ears and she didn't dare look at Hannah. She didn't want to see Hannah get up and leave her so she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block everything out. Grace was preparing for the worst but what happen was just the opposite. Hannah didn't say anything she just pulled Grace close. 

"Grace, I would never leave you. You're one of the best friends I've ever had and I plan on being friends until we die. Please let me help you." Hannah says gently.

Hannah knows Grace isn't one for human touch. Grace knows she isn't one for human touch but she finds herself slowing relaxing into Hannah's embrace. Hannah gently rubs Grace's back until Grace has uncurled herself and is now cuddled into Hannah's side with her head resting on Hannah's chest. It's completely platonic and eventually Hannah can feel Grace's breathing even out until she is completely calm. 

Grace's eyelids begin to grow heavy and before long she is sound asleep. Hannah know's that Grace is asleep but she continues to rub her back and just watch the tall blonde sleep peacefully. While listening to Grace's breathing Hannah gets lost in her own thoughts. She can't believe that someone as confident as Grace would suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, but then again you don't really see all of a person, you only see what they want you to see. 

About an hour later Grace wakes and she's more calm now that she's slept.

"Sorry about not telling you Hannah. It's just I was so worried about your reaction. I hate that you had to find me in the middle of an attack." Grace says.

"It's okay Gracie. You won't lose me as a friend. I'll always be here for you."