The dark clouds followed me down the busy roads. Chasing me to my destination. They always did every time I went here. Everything I passed looked gray and dull, even the people. Nothing seemed to have any life anymore. It was like those blue eyes sucked all the life away when they closed for the last time. I could hear nothing as I made my way thru a mass of people. I knew there was noise in the air for cars were driving and people’s mouths were moving but none of it reached me.
I’ve tried to move on. Tired to forget and start over with someone new like everyone tells me to do. But how do you move on from losing your best friend? How do you move on from the person who is your soul mate? Nobody understands it, I can’t move on. We were supposed to get married and have kids, maybe a dog or two. I wasn’t supposed to end up alone.
As I stepped into the graveyard memories flooded back into my head. The very first time we spoke and looked into each other’s eyes. Our first date, the first time we said I love you. I remembered the movie nights and pillow fights we had. Also all the laughs and tears we shared. I remember our last date, the one that ended up in a car crash.
I got to the grave and sat down. Touching the headstone I shivered; it was cold, like how I felt. I sighed and placed down the flowers I brought.
“I miss you. More than I ever thought I could miss someone. I know you said to move on and fall in love again but I can’t. I can’t bring myself to look at anyone else because there’s no one else for me. You understood me and accepted me. You made me feel loved more than anyone else did. How could I forget that?” I paused for a moment. “I’m sorry about this. It’s all my fault. You… you shouldn’t be dead I should. I’m sorry the last thing we did was fight. I want to take it back. I dream of that almost every night. I dream that you’re still with me, that you’re holding me.”
I stood up and looked down at the grave. It was covered with flowers, all red, like usual.
“I love you Louis Tomlinson.” I said softly before turning to make my way back home.
