I couldn’t believe I made such a huge mistake. I had everything I could ever want but I let it all slip away from me. I don’t even know what I was thinking. How could I give up such a beautiful and wonderful girl? She was everything to me, she was completely perfect and I let her go.
I sighed as I walked into the park. I don’t know why I want to torture myself today by coming here. I knew she was here somewhere walking her little dog. We used to do it together, every day after she got out of class we would come here. Walking deeper into the park I could feel my nerves coming on. With every step I take I’m getting closer to possibly seeing her. While walking I thought back to the first day I met her, which was actually in this very park about four months ago.
******
I love working in the studio but at times, kind of like right now, I need to be away. I love the lads and the producers but after being stuck in a small room with them for hours I need time and space to myself. I left the studio and walked across the road to the park that was there. I was hoping there would not be a lot of people here because I really want some just me time.
Walking along the path I tried to think of something for the song I was writing. I didn’t have much time out here and I wanted to be able to finish the song when I got back. I walked farther and almost tripped over a little Scotty dog.
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” I heard a girl say. I looked up to see the most beautiful girl ever. “I didn’t know she got off her leash. I’m so sorry.”
“No it’s fine. I probably would have hurt her more than she could hurt me.”
She laughed and smiled, “that’s true. I’m Amber by the way, and you are?”
“Niall.”
We talked for the rest of my break with her dog running around by our feet. When I left to go back to the studio I had Amber’s number in my mobile and a smile on my face.
******
We used to talk and hang out all the time until a week ago. I sighed and sat down on one of the swings. I remember the last time we talked. It was last Tuesday and it didn’t end well. We were doing great and everything but I was scared because it’s been a while since I’ve even thought about dating someone. I really liked Amber though, and I guess she liked me. She asked me what we were, if we were dating or not. I panicked and told her that we were nothing, that we were just friends. She looked a bit sad, like she was about to cry. Then she said that she had to leave and I haven’t seen her since.
I kicked at the dirt hard. I should have never said that to her. I should have told her what I really felt but instead I was stupid and told her a lie. I heard a tiny bark and looked up to see that little Scotty dog I got so used to. She was across the park with Amber. It seemed like she was looking for someone. I felt my heart jump a little. Could she be waiting for me? I was about to get up and walk over to her when I saw another guy walk up.
I watched as Amber hugged him and her little dog was trying to lick his hand. He kissed her cheek and I knew she was probably blushing. It wasn’t until they turned to walk away that she noticed me watching. Amber looked straight at me for a second and gave me a small sad smile. With that smile I understood everything. I had my chance, she gave me a shot, she liked me and I blew it. Now it was this guy’s chance. There was nothing I could do to change it. I sighed and stood up, thinking about going to Liam’s. I need to talk to someone right now.
