Undefined - The Zephyr Book 1 ? (completed)(#Wattys2016)

Chapter 11 -- Cello

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11 - Cello

I'll be the first to admit that girls are a wretched web of confusion. I'm at odds with myself, because I honestly love them and at the same time find them perplexing and certain parts of their being more than a little annoying.

While I don't have much of a track record in this area, I'm aware of and a little worried about certain patterns when it comes to my preferences. It seems to me that the ones I like mostly are the slightly crazy ones.

Not that in Aafta I had that many to choose from. There are two types of girls in Aafta, the girls who Aren't Quite There Yet – meaning, girls who still have a little growing up to do, and the girls who Have Been There and Done That, which theoretically I don't mind, but maybe they were moving too fast for me.

And then there was Lane who was her own type of girl, and as it turned out, my type of girl. Lane was the most depressive person I had ever met, just being around her instantly made me want to be happy. Naturally, I decided to see her as an antidote to sadness, although, if I'm completely honest with myself, the reason I was with her  was simply that she was the prettiest girl in Aafta, period, exclamation mark. True, we had a thing or two in common, both kids of divorced parents, both outsiders who are intimidating to others and attractive at the same time. I saw us as a sort of team, and while Lane's personality was destructive, I honestly cared about her.

Maybe I still do. I never expected her to betray me like she did, I wish it were another boy, I wish she'd have chosen to skip town instead; I wish I had been able to do something for her. She promised me she wouldn't do it, no matter how miserable she was, she promised me a hundred thousand times.

She lied, or maybe the darkness in her soul was too absolute. She chose to leave the world forever. She died and gave me something I would carry with me for the rest of my life. I felt the pain of being the one abandoned. The agonising reality of what it feels like to have someone you care for gone to a place you can't follow. Like her, I have left my mother forever.

Syianne is peculiar in a special way, and the way she stares at me brings Lane to mind. I'm worried that I like her because of that. Or maybe that's why I started liking her, now she's stuck in my head and I already know that she's carrying a small tale of woe of her own.

*

She's giving me the silent treatment throughout breakfast. As I eat my eggs and toast, utterly famished, I reason that there are two options: either Syianne is petty and furiously hates every boy she's ever rejected, or she likes me, but this doesn't sit well with the fact that she already has a boyfriend.

Because the second option is my favourite, I bring to mind the blond boy I saw her with yesterday morning. In looks he might be superior, if she likes the athletic, broad-shouldered, buff, manly type – and by the look of things she does – okay, he certainly has me there. Then there's their previous history which I know nothing of and I have to keep in mind.

They looked rather well-acquainted.

I'm about ready to give up on the notion, when I come up with one last ray of hope. There's always the present and future, and when it comes to the future, I have the upper hand over Syianne's blonde and absent boyfriend. So I decide to keep the future in mind and with a smile I turn to her. "They didn't come get us, so I guess we can go to Reception again today," I say.

And she has to respond because it's something she can't run away from. She nods curtly without looking at me and goes on eating her breakfast. I continue looking at her. "I get it, you're uninterested, I'm sorry."