MindTraps [ Anime Original Story. ]

3. All or Nothing.

There is no such thing as middle.

Only beginning and end, win or lose, life or death.

Those two always matter, nothing else matter besides being first instead of last.

They'll give you prizes for "trying" but that doesn't make up for the fact that people are failures.

If I'm in last place I mean nothing.

I am nothing.

First place is everything.

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"Another A+, you never fail to amaze me Kimaru-San"

"Oh it's nothing, you're too kind"

Another perfect score, just as expected from myself.

Everyday was always the same story.

And everyday has a different outcome, all depending on me.

Either one of the two outcomes happen, neither one is similar like the other and that's the way I like it.

If I success I am rewarded and I reward the outside world as well.

Think of it as a video game.

There's a Good Ending.

And a Bad Ending.

I'm not a gaming nerd or anything like that, too much effort.

And a waste of time.

When I success the world around grows brighter, everything is perfect and everyone can see it.

The days becomes longer because that's the way I want it, will it rain?

Why not?

because I want it to.

Will the sun rise or fall sooner?

Why not?

Because I want it to.

This is my gift to the world, I can make them happy just like how I feel.

I would be labeled as a God for this power I have over the world, people would appreciate me more.

If only it wasn't for the Bad Ending.

Like I said before there is no in between.

There is only happiness and sadness.

Life or death.

Love and heart break.

None of them can ever mix.

There are days when I get upset, very upset.

"Kimaru-San your grades are dropping"

"Kimaru your not acting yourself, is everything okay?"

"Kimaru you need to pull yourself together, this isn't you"

"Honey what happened to you? Where my Kimaru? Kimaru!"

I didn't want this.

Why is the world blaming me?!

Is it truly my fault?

It's all my fault for losing my way, I don't know when it started. . . .perhaps it all happened when he came around?

The world was spinning so beautifully, everything seemed to bright that no matter where I went as long as he was there, I would get burnt.

But never in a bad way.

I loved being brunt by him.

But then he left, permanently.

He abandoned me in this world and went to the next on, and things shifted in a way that they never have before.

*****************

You made me feel alive,

Everything felt possible,

The world is so bright,

Everything is perfectly balanced,

But I should know balance doesn't last forever,

Everything shifted,

The day you fell,

The world fell apart with you,

If only you were here,

I would understand myself again,

But you're dead,

How shall I ever feel the same again?

This world is going to die too,

Cause without you it's not worth saving anymore,

Without you.

**************

Since he's been gone the world has become much more dark, but it was my own doing.

I don't think things will ever be the same.

That boy that I loved so deeply is never coming back, after all he had done to me. . .all that he made me feel was gone along with me.

But I can never let go.

I'm in the middle, I've created a middle.

There's love and heartbreak.

But I feel both.

Looking out to the darken world I happened to notice something out of the corner of my eye.

Grey.

An unusual hair color, I know it's not natural. . .he himself told me that it wasn't natural.

Looking off into the distant I choke on my breath, could it possibly be him again?

Waiting for you to turn your head over to me so I can be sure I am instantly hit with so much sorrow. . .

A girl.

A short little girl with grey hair and grey eyes to match, just like him.

It's not you. . .

But if not then who is this person?

The world suddenly got a little brighter, not sunny or dark, but a little brighter. . . .

Somewhere in the middle.
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1. Future Visions.
2. Mind Reading.
3. All of Nothing.
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Coming Up : 4. Catastrophizing