Dear diary

Axel

Dear journal

Honestly I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's not like it's gonna make that much of a difference. But as the Doc said I need to let out my insecurities in a type of notebook. Well today I......

Oh forget this shit.
I thought as I ripped up that piece of crap. That stupid Doc almost got me to write it. Diaries are for sissies who can't man the hell up and deal with their problems. And I ain't no sissy.

"Axel come downstairs and eat breakfast bro." Called my older sister. Ever since our parents died she took me in. She had to fight to keep me out of a home. I was only five when they died. Innocent and naive. I still remember when my moms and pop left that morning for work. My sister was in town for a few days with her new husband, Roy. He's a good man to her.

>>>>>>>flashback<<<<<<<
"Mommy do you really have to go? And daddy you said you would help me build my toy car." I said holding tightly onto them. For something deep inside me knew things were gonna change. "Oh baby we'll be back soon we just have to go to work and then it's the weekend."
My mother said as she kissed my cheek leaving a bright red lipstick stain on me. I didn't bother wiping it off for it wouldn't come off. " Yea bud, and when we do I'll do whatever you want to do, just you and me pal, you and me." As he ruffled my dirty blonde hair.
I smiled with my front tooth missing. " You'll be here when I get home from school right?" I said as they grabbed their things ready to carpool to work.
They drove to work with each other everyday. They never fought, well in front of me, and they truly loved each other.
" Yep that way they can also set up decorations for your birthday party later this afternoon". Added my big sis coming from the kitchen with a big cup of tea in her hands.
She was 23 then, fresh out of college and looking for a new job.

They put me on my bus as usual, kissed me goodbye one more time, and that was the last I ever saw of them. I got home later that day happy and wanting to tell them absolutely everything that happened at school.
But when I got there only Kendra was there. I sat by the window for hours on end. It got to the point where Kendra had to put the decorations up hurdle I we wanted it to be ready on time.
The party was in full swing by the time we got the call. They had just finished singing I me the birthday song. I looked up at my sister who was in tears running out of the room. I ignored it then and blew out my candles. Wishing for one thing and that was for my parents to be with me again.

But they never did.
Because they were killed
On my fucking birthday.

*******authors note********
Okay guys I completely erased the other book and I'm staring this one.sorry for all the cursing, but it's apart of Axel's character. Any who I'll be writing soon lovelies