Cutting Addiction!

Chapter 19: Celebration.

Ok so we had biscuits and gravy for breakfast. While everybody was laughing and talking to somebody i was sitting all by my self. Even Rose was talking to people she was with Chris and she talked a couple times to Johnny and Kevin.

I was thinking about since nobody was talking to me and i was just sitting on the couch by myself that i don't really think anybody wanted me here. I was pissed because today was supposed to be about Chris and i, nobody else. I was also taking my anger out on this. Im tired of people being scared to talk to me about something. I got really mad an started crying then i walked out the door and slammed it shut.

I put seven cement bricks in front of the door and sitting on them. I only did that because it would be hard for somebody to open the door. I heard a fist pounding on the door.

"Baby clear the door and let me out." Chris got really worried.

I just ignored him. "The back door!" Chris yelled running to the back door.

When i heard him say that i got in my car opening the big garage door. I pulled out of the garage an saw Chris get in his truck. I hurried up and left. Soon i saw him behind me. Then i heard my phone go off.

Chris: what the fuck is going on

Me: nothing just leave me the fuck alone.

Chris: no baby you know i cant ever do tht im always worried about you 24/7 because i know you fake a smile everyday just to make other people forget about whats going on but i know the real you. The side of you that nobody else knows.

Me: dont be worried bout me i will be fine. And how did you know i fake a smile. I dont do it to make other people to forget about whats going on. i do it so people don't keep asking whats wrong whats wrong it just makes me break down and cry.

Chris: idc i just know you fake every smile.

Me: no i dont Chris when im with you i cant stop smiling because i know im safe with you.

Chris: ok i love you now tell me where your going

Me: love you to and im going to cool down before i end up hurting somebody besides myself. If i dont have my blades i dont know what would happen when i get depressed.

Chris: k im staying with you

Me: Kay

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After texting him about all that i parked on the side of the road and walked across, to the river.

I stepped into the river after i took my shoes of and throwing them on the side of the road. The water was cold which i really liked. It felt so good on my cuts. I slid my shorts and shirt off so i was just in my bra and boy shorts.

I threw my clothes on top of my shoes. Chris took his shoes, Shirt, and pants off so he was just in his boxers, but he wouldn't get in because it was cold. So he sat on the steps and dangled his feet in the water. I got out and told him i would be right back i went in my car and grabbed one of my razors that was in my glovebox.

Just the feeling of the col metal touching your skin it feels so good i pressed down harder and slid it across my wrist. Then i did the same to my hips.

I made a few cuts on my wrist, my side, and my hips i only did it because i kept a stash of towels and swimming clothes in my secret pocket that i only know about. Its under the back seats and if you flip them down then you would be able to see the pocket.

Well i slid my tank top on to cover up the cuts that i made on my side. I put my bracelets on my wrist and put my shorts on. I went back over to the river and got in. The freezing cold water stung my freshly new cuts but i really dont care. I went under the wate and popped up in front of Chris i grabbed his hand and laughed kissing his lips for what felt like ten minutes. I pulled him in the water and he just didnt give a shit anymore because he was wet anyways.