Into the Snow || A Captain America Love Story

47

Tori

I laugh at the end of Steve's story. He smiles, realizing that he told everything that needs to be told.
"I thought my life was crazy," I giggle.
"Speaking of, it's your turn." Steve says.
I take a deep breath. "I've never told anyone before."
"I haven't either," Steve says. "It feels great now that I have."
"O-Okay, I can do this," I tell myself. "I-I'm ready."
Steve nods for me to start, his eyes full of curiosity and reassurance.
"I don't remember much from when I was little, but I remember little bits and pieces of my parents. I told you that my mother taught me how to cook, et cetera. My father used to tell me stories about you. He made you seem so different. But my memories come into clear view when they died. T-The television reported their deaths and so did the newspapers. I was taken in by friends of my father for a while and then Tony took me in. He wasn't home often, but when I was old enough, I stayed home alone until he came home. People were always with me or checking on me when he was gone. I guess that's how I became such an introvert, being alone all the time. When I graduated, Agent Phil Coulson was in my living room. The day of my graduation. He asked if I wanted to become a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and I obviously said yes. I went through training and finally became an agent in France. People called me 'Mystérieux', meaning mysterious because they were speaking their language and the name stuck. I was on missions all the time and I was barely home. And this is really awkward, but I helped Phil ask Fury to find you in the ice."
Steve's face turns bright red.
"Don't worry, I owed Phil big time and I was only returning the favor."
Steve smiles. "Continue."
"Then Loki came to 'Midgard'," I tease, making weird hand motions. "A-And that was the last time I saw Phil."
Steve frowns, knowing how he died.
"Tony I know has told you before, but I went into a depression when I was on a mission. He always says I was home, but I wasn't. I was trying to continue a mission. Then I came home and went on a mission which I forced Tony to come with me. I met you there."
"There's something that you're forgetting," Steve says. "I can tell just by your facial expression."
I bite my lip, pondering about what I missed. "I can't think of anything."
"Are you sure?" Steve asks.
"Positive."
"Maybe this question will help," Steve says. "You said that you had a lot of nightmares and they still come. What was the fuel of those nightmares?"
I frown. "Everything. I have social anxiety, so many things haunt my mind. Once I had a nightmare about a conversation that I had with a girl about math homework."
"Can't really get that wrong," Steve laughs. "Unless you mix up numbers, you should be fine."
"I still have thoughts like that!" I smirk.
     "It happens to the best of us," Steve says.
     "Yeah," I snort. "Sounds like Phil."
     Steve's smile disappears. "I think I got a bad image of him when we met."
     "Possibly," I sigh. "He was a great guy, super sweet. And Natasha probably told you about the vintage cards."
     Steve sadly laughs. "Yeah, she did."
     "He thought you were the best. He really looked up to you, you know. He pretty much based his career off of you. And even though we live in a jacked up world, he believed in heroes."
     "Then the Avengers Initiative was born," Steve says.
     "I miss him," I mumble. "He brought me through some really rough times, like you have."
     Steve blushes, looking down at his knees. "You've done the same thing for me too."
     The corners of my mouth twist up. "I've never thought that I was capable of doing that."
     "Why not?" Steve asks me in a sweet voice.
     "Because I feel like I'm going to hurt everyone that I become close to," I say. "My parents died, then Phil. I'm surprised that Tony hasn't died yet. I'm an assassin, Steve. All those missions that I went on were to kill someone. Death is just constantly following me, like a shadow. That's why I have anxiety. When I met you, I was terrified. When we became friends, I just knew that the worst was going to come. And now that we're kissing each other, i-it horrifies me. I know that you're going to be taken from right under my nose and I won't be able to do anything about it. That's truly how my nightmares started. When my parents died, I would always dream of them. I can't do anything to stop it. My own agents have died because of me, the people I went on missions with. I-I can't let anyone die, anymore. I'll die myself if I have to cope with anyone like you or Tony's death."
     "Tori," Steve quakes. "I know exactly how you feel. I watched my best friend die right in front of me. And when you were gone, I thought that I was going to die right there in the helicopter."
     "That's why I can't make friends. I'm barely even close with my fellow Avengers, let alone agents that work at S.H.I.E.L.D. headqu-"
     Steve presses his lips to mine. His warmth spreads into my cold body, not wanting to stop for anything. I run my hands along his neck, slowly making their way to his jawline. His hands cup my face, his fingers peeking into my hair.
     "And if I have to stop you from talking like that, that's a risk I'm willing to take." Steve mumbles against my lips.
     "That's not a risk, Rogers," I say. "That's a wish."