Further On (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 38

Chapter 38;

-Zayn's POV-

I watch as Noah, who is incidentally wearing a shirt that says little heart breaker on it which couldn't be anymore true, and Joel run across the park, laughing with happiness. They're amazing. I see Arielle struggling, trying to get a water out of the picnic basket, so I decide to help her. But, when I see her about to ask me to hold the baby I quickly make an excuse.

"I have to see if Joel is thirsty," I say with a nervous smile and she frowns at me.

"Alright."

I mean, I would totally love to hold her, but the fear of her crying gets to me. Almost as if she's afraid of me and that cuts me so, so deep. She's like a tiny Arielle to me, and to think for a second about the way I used to put my hands on her makes me so sick. I wouldn't let anyone who even thinks about laying a hand on my daughter see the light of day anymore. I just don't see how George didn't want me in a casket when he found out I took his only daughters virginity. The guilt eats at me everyday lately. Ever since she had Suraiya. It's like an awakening.

To see her crying in my arms made me realize what I'm in for. I know I'm not going to hurt her. I know that, but I don't want anyone else hurting her. It's time for me to prove myself wrong. I can take care of a girl, I can do this.

I get up and go over to where Joel is sitting in the mulch. Making them wear their old Nikes was a good idea since I already see them getting dirtier.

"You thirsty Joel? Do you want a juice box?"

He chuckles at me and I help him get up. He's running way too quickly over to Arielle and stumbles over.

"Whoopsey, daisy." I grab his tiny hand to help him up. "You okay little buddy?" I pick him up and pretend to eat his cheek.

He pushes me away and tucks his shoulders in with a big smile and giggling like never before.

"Stop deddy!" He gives me a throaty laugh.

"Okay, okay." I grin, walking over to where we were sitting. "Do you love Daddy?" I sit down.

He doesn't say anything to me. He just climbs off my lap and grabs a juice box. Well I love him.

"Daddy!" Noah runs over to me and jumps on my back, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

I pretend to wrestle him and once I tackle him on the ground, I blow fake farts into his belly.

"Ew was that you?" I joke around and do it again. "Ew, Noe. Say excuse me." I laugh and he pushes my head up.

"Stop Daddy!" He shows his tiny teeth and scrunches up his face.

"Do you want an orange?" I take out on of the small oranges and start peeling it. "Juice box or water?"

"Give him a water, he already had two juice boxes."

"Alright." I take out a mini water bottle and hand it to him after opening it. "What about you Joel?"

He points to the crackers.

"You're a great father, Zayn." Arielle tells me and I finally find the will to look at her.

"Well, I try." I shrug with a grin.

She gets quiet, almost as if she's thinking of trying something.