Dangle. (Vampire!Zayn; Ziall AU)

Chapter Two. (2.)

                        Niall's Point of View.

The thoughts overtook my body as I walked to clear my head. Thoughts flew as I looked up. I screamed in my mind, hoping that holler would cancel out the voices. It didn't, and so once more, I screamed. This one did nothing more than give me an internal headache. I felt like the most ludicrous person in the world, having to scream in my thoughts for them to quiet down. The past flew into the parts unfilled by screams in my head. I slowly slide down on a tree surrounded by others alike.

As I looked around, I figured out I had successfully managed to loose track of the park and go into the woods. I had been to these woods before; they were an hour or two away from my house. As I looked down at the watch on my right wrist, I almost let out a sound of shock. It was 6:45, I had been walking for more than an hour, and am now stuck in the middle of bloody no where.

Good fucking going Niall, I thought over the other voices. They all chorused in on the weakening self-confidence I had in myself.

Good job, Faggy!

Only you could fuck this up, twinkle toes!

Fucking great job, you dumb worthless asshole!

Insult after insult was thrown through my mind, as I let the curiosity of what more names the voices could call me reel me in. Turns out, what I thought couldn't be worse, was as tears streamed down my face one after one.

I lifted my hands over my head as I desperately scratched at the bark on the tree, clawing out chunks of it and fueling the words as I agreed with them. That train of thought lasted until I couldn't take it anymore. I bit into my cut up hand with anger and sudden desperation to be freed from my own mind as I bit harder with each jab. I let out the loudest scream possible as more tears soaked my skin, drenching my face, as the voices brought back the incident from two years ago.

I had been nothing more than experimenting with my best friend to see if I was gay or not. They decided to take experimenting to a new level. One night, when I was alone in my house--my parents were on a business trip at the time, and my brother had went with them--he came over.

He then violently raped me in my own bed twice, hand cuffing me to the edge of the bed and treating me as a life-less rag doll, nothing but sex, an "experiment" to see if he was gay. He had the nerve the next day to come to my house the next day and proclaim he wasn't in fact gay and act as if nothing happened.

The voices wouldn't let me downplay the thoughts as I sobbed violently and loud through the forest. The flashbacks killed me inside as my body ached. My arse ached like it just happened. My breathing started to pick up and grow labored as I felt myself slipping into a panic attack.

I made no move to do anything but scream into my jacket. I rolled up my sleeves and looked at the scars. Scars and burn marks littered my arms and fingers from sticking my fingers down my throat hoping to puke my guts out. Tears dripped onto my arms as I yanked the jacket off of my arm.

"I don't deserve this fucking jacket!" I spat up at the sky. "Fuck it! Fuck everything."

 I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve anything! I don't deserve to be happy, I don't deserve anyone's tears, I don't deserve my family, if that's what you'd even call it.

Family. What is that word? I know from all of the books and movies, it was a group of people who love and accept you, who never do you any harm, and on the contrary, shield you from it, not bring it to you. I know it's a person, or a group of people who give you unconditional love.

Love? What was that word, as well? A swelling emotion that makes you become whipped and utterly repulsive. Who would make you throw yourself at a bullet to keep someone else safe. Something that makes you... feel. And I don't like feelings, because I always get hurt by them I'm always hurt.

I bit harder onto my knuckle, feeling blood draw out from my teeth. "Fuck..." I whimpered from the pain that radiated from my hands. I let out a dry chuckle.

This is it, I thought. I'm done.

My tears dried as determination took their place. I searched for anything, or nothing as I crawled on the ground. My eyes basically glowed as I spotted a broken beer bottle near a tree a few crawls away. I scrambled up to get it and wasted no time digging it into my skin as I slide down the tree. Fuck this hurts.

The voices were slowly faded as was my vision, as I dug in deeper, my skin turning the black and brown dirt on the floor as red as red wine. I dug the broken bottle into my arm deep and long, painting twists and turns into my skin as the words cleared up on my arm.

"I did it for freedom" it said, artful looking and painfully beautiful. I cried and cried as, when I fell out of consciousness, my last thought was "goodbye," the pain too much.

The last thing I felt before slipping into what I could only hope as death was arms circling around me and deathly growl of "don't die."

                        Zayn's Point of View.

I heard the rush of air as the blond boy fell to the ground. I could hear his blood pouring out of his hand, and could practically see the blood cells pouring out of his hand. I could no longer hear his breathing, other than the small, shallow beating of his heart that was soon to stop.

Feeling? I don't feel anything other than disgrace anymore. It was almost as if I was in a constant apathy, with drawling all other emotions. Feeling? I never liked to feel anyway. Feeling made me... weak. Feeling made me disgusting. Feeling made me puny. Feeling made me loose dignity. Feeling... I haven't felt in a while. And honestly, I never want to again.

But as I looked at the blond boy, I couldn't help but feel. Feel what is the question, but as I stared at him, I felt more than I ever have in a while. I felt an instinctive feeling of want flow through my still body as I sniffed the air.

Vemon grew into my mouth as I smelt the sent of the bleeding boy. I couldn't help but find a way to deny the smell as my instinct to save him grew bigger. I didn't do anything but hold my breath, as if I really needed to breath, and scooped him up in my arms.

I riped a part of my white tee-shirt, and wrapped it around the still bleeding arm of his, making sure to stop the bleeding before I ran with the unconsious boy in my hand. "Don't die..." I whispered with the little air left in my lungs. Something was drawing me to him, something life changing.