Dangle. (Vampire!Zayn; Ziall AU)

Chapter Three.

Some times, the thing I wonder most is if anyone would stop me. Would any one actually take the time to realize that I'm not okay and try to put an end to my selfish actions? Would anyone care enough to take the time to fix my broken heart? To duct tape it back together, to super glue it, to staple it, anything that would keep it together? I wonder if I really want that.

You see, it's all metaphors. Life, it's filled up with metaphors and you either learn them and dis-code what they're trying to say and what they're trying to get you to understand because at the end of the end, if you don't know, if you're not okay, then that's okay. But these metaphors, these lost dreams of someone coming and finding me and showing me that love was something that they built for in their tool shed, that forever isn't just a lost cause that that trusting and having faith can go hand in hand like walking hand and hand down the street. 

I don't want it to be easy, you see, I don't want it to be as simple as possible. You see, I'd love if it to be that, but, dear friend, that can't happen.

If only you saw the things that happen inside of my head. You'd see that you and I, we aren't that different. You and are the same, you and I are totally, in a way, one. You're just a metaphor, a monster in the corner of my head, the biggest, most controlling problem that I've ever had and dear friend, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to every one that is forced to put up with me, I'm sorry for the fact that no matter what I do, I won't be good enough. I'm sorry that I enjoy the forest fire that erupts from my wrist and I'm sorry that the smoke alarms are the most beautiful noises that I've ever heard. Dear friend, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I like to watch the skin bubble and blister and every time I cry in pain, the voices scream for me to do it harder. I'm sorry that I enjoy being lonely, but at the same time, I don't. When I'm alone, I see it. I see the things that are in the past, I see it and feel ut and at most times it's so realistic that I throw up a little just to think that it happened. I'd like to think that I'm not crazy dear friend, but the sad thing is, I am.

Mostly, though, I'm sorry that I'm not sorry for what I do to myself. I'm sorry that I need you and in the same beat I don't because I'd never put any one up with the suffering that it takes to know me well. After all, all you have is yourself in the end. 

Nothing will ever make me feel more alone then that, dear friend.

- Niall.

______

"Is he alright?" Zayn asked Harry again. Harry's curls bounced as his green tinted red eyes shot a glare at Zayn from his peripheral vision. 

Harry was the main controller in Zayn's cult, which, in reality, was just Harry, Zayn, Harry's boyfriend Louis, and Zayn's friend Ed, who was a Shaper which is when his eyes were according to his mood and he could control major elements, water and Earth. Helpful to have in battle and very, very rare in the super natural world. It takes a special human brain for someone to be formed in to a Shaper.

He had green tinted red eyes, and a long body, standing at least 6 foot 2 at the shortest. His boyfriend, Louis, was quite a bit shorter, with blue tinted red eyes, stubble slightly, peppering a goyte on his face. Ed was a ginger, red hair, and a little taller then Louis. They all, Zayn included, had amazing statures. Louis was changed at 21, while Harry was changed at 19, and Ed at 22. Zayn was changed at 19, along with Harry. 

 Zayn must have asked the same question to Harry for the last 3 hours and yet, he didn't get a clear answer. He could smell the blood, he could smell the scent of death and for once in his life, it was nauseating. The smell of the boys blood was the most drool worthy and disgusting thing that Zayn had ever let his nostrils waft up.

"Is he okay?" He said again. He knew Harry had heard him. He had given him seven seconds exactly to answer so instead of waiting to ten, he asked again.

"How many times are you going to ask me?" A deep growl set in Harry's tone, the inner vampire slipping out.

"As many times that it takes until you say he is." 

"Why do you care so much!?" Zayn was silent, not knowing what to say, because in reality, he didn't know. He was silent, quiet and did not ask again about the blond, whose name he didn't even know yet!

All he could focus on was his red wrists, sealed with venom.

"Z!" He heard Harry call in his face. Zayn growled.

"What?!"

"I've been calling for you 45 damn seconds, damn, where were you?"

Zayn let his mind wonder back for a few seconds before answering. "Just thinking about more then one thing at once."

"You need to chose."

"What is it?" Zayn squinted slightly, something he often did when he was contemplating.

"Well, they're deep," Zayn cringed slightly at that, not knowing why, but feeling his frozen heart swell with hatred at the boy's decision. The fact that he didn't know the teenager's name didn't bother him, it was that he had the connection with him that he had only seen mates have, and for once, Zayn was scared.  

"He cut his vain way more then once. You can either try the venom, which most likely will work but he won't have full movements and he may have to lose his wrist down part of his hand, or you could change him. Your choice."

What should Zayn do? Vote, comment, share, fan! It motivated me a lot. And the votes too. Here's an update;  I'm so sorry it took so long. Let's just say I let myself slightly fall back in to old ways, and it wasn't pretty. Well, I'm back now! 1,000 reads! I'm so happy this book is getting so far already. c: