Through the Wringer

duos

    I woke up, and my headache was gone. I wasn't as tired as before, and the light didn't bother me as much either... I couldn't stop thinking about how much of a mess I probably looked like. I turned my head toward the window, and looked at my reflection in the glass.
My black hair was touseled and messy as all hell, and you could tell I hadn't brushed it in forever. My skin was much paler than my usual almost ghost-white complexion, which was scary, and it seemed almost ashen. My eyes looked dulled, the bright blue seemingly hiding behind a gray stormcloud. Overall, I looked worse than I thought I would. The bandages on my arms did nothing to help that, nor did the large, blackish-purple bruise on my neck from when the seatbelt almost broke my neck. Silently, in the back of my head, I wished it had.
Stop that, Dalton. You're better than this, I told myself. I couldn't stop thinking about dying. All I wanted was to be with my family, but we were now on two different planes. For all I knew, my mom could have her arm around me, telling me everything was going to be okay as I cried my eyes out, still staring at my reflection. My father could be standing in the corner, cradling my baby brother, all while my little sister is banging on the film between life and death, trying to get me to hear her; she doesn't understand why I won't answer.
    "why did they have to go.." I said, my usually strong voice cracking at the edges. I just couldn't wrap my head around the situation. At one point I was trying to wake myself up, thinking this was all a nightmare, at another I was gripping the pillow and sobbing into it, thinking about all the moments and experiences that would now never happen..
My mind spun, moving too quickly for me to handle. What if they aren't dead? What if this is all a cruel joke? They couldn't have died! This has to be a joke. No, they're dead. I have to get over my misery.. But I can't.
I started to argue with myself. You can-you can't-you can-you can't-you can-you can't-you can-you can't-you can-you can't-YOU CAN'T. I grew dizzier and dizzier as the seconds passed, and eventually I didn't know whether I was upside down, inside out, or whatever direction inbetween.