Through the Wringer

quattuordecim

We had been in the car for maybe an hour or so when Marcy started complaining that she needed to go to the bathroom. I was pretending to be asleep, and I had my headphones in. This family had somehow transferred my phone to their plan, and the hospital had given them my phone, which they gave to me maybe a half hour ago, along with my headphones. But, no matter how far I turned up the music, I couldn't block out Marcy. I groaned, and I heard Jocelyn tell Marcy to be quiet so I could sleep.
     "We'll stop somewhere soon, okay Marcy?" She asked.
"McDonalds! I'm hungry too!" She said, in a whiny voice. I wanted to groan again, not really being fond of the fast food joint, and not really wanting to be stared at while sitting there in a wheelchair, with these people who look almost nothing like me. Maybe somebody will think they've kidnapped me, I thought. I wanted to giggle, but that would give away the fact that I was actually awake.
     I started to let the music absorb me into my own world again, now that Marcy had quieted down. "I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.." I fucking love Fall Out Boy. I started smiling, which gave it away that I was awake.. Or..
     "I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.." I start mumble-singing. I hear Jocelyn giggle, "Oh, he's singing in his sleep." There was an airy lightness in her voice, and it made me want to smile. This woman was such the complete opposite of my mom, so bubbly and light. My mom was all serious and stuff, all the time. I didn't understand why, and now I guess I never will.
    The song changed, pulling me away from the dark thoughts I was about to delve myself into.
"Am I the only one I know waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Shadows will scream that I'm alone.. But I know we've made it this far, kid." I let my the lyrics soak into my brain again, ironically. Letting "Migraine" soak into my head. Something most people would avoid in the opposite context.
     Suddenly, whoever was driving slammed on the brakes. Time slowed down, my headphones slipped out of my ears. I snapped my eyes open, looking at the world around me. It was deja vú. I almost screamed, but bit my lip hard instead. All that escaped was a short, high-pitched shriek. And if that wasn't bad enough, my display of fear, I started to have a panic attack comparing what had just happened to what happened the day of the crash. My breathing sped up, and I started staring around wildly. I couldn't breath one second, then I was breathing too much the next. I started getting light headed. I heard Corbin mutter under his breath,
"Son of a.."
"Calm down, you big baby. We aren't crashing." Marcy said
"Hey, Dalton. Look- look at me." It was Jocelyn. But I couldn't look at her. I couldn't move at all. I was going into some kind of flash back. The moments kept passing on my eyelids, until my hyperventilation made me pass out.
It was all so vivid. The slamming of the brakes, the screaming noise of my sister and the tires. The truck barreling into us, and the car flipping, rolling. Turning, and turning, and turning. Blacking out around the third revolution, then waking up when we landed upside down. My mom's neck was at such an odd angle, and there was blood all over me- in my eyes, my mouth, dripping off my face. My sister was so obviously dead it was sickening. Which, actually happened. I got sick, right there. I looked at my dad. He was breathing still, but it was raspy and shallow. "D-dad?" I choked out. But he didn't respond. I watched, powerless, as the breathing slowed, getting raspier by the minute, and finally, it stopped in one large, raspy, hiiiiissssss... I started screaming. I heard my brother groan. I turned and looked at him. He was still breathing, and seemingly conscious. He was so little, and so broken. There was so much glass stuck in him, and so much blood.. I kept crying, until I blacked out one last time.
I didn't even get to tell my family I loved them.