lashton: I thought I loved him

Chapter 7

 WHOOP WHOOP. Ya know what  I miss? What do you miss Laysa? Oh thanks for asking random person in my head. I miss the 5sos twit cams i love them because all they do is that Luke just sits quietly while Calum humps things randomly also Michael screams like a little kid and Ashton yells at them for being inappropriate.  Okay that's all I wanted to say BYYYEEEEE. Ps I also miss the keeks. BYEEE.

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 TRIGGER WARNING

Lukes pov:

"You promise you won't judge me if I tell you my story?" I say mumble shyly.

"Why would I judge you I'd never do such a thing." He says acting like he cares.

"Okay so it started 7 years ago when my dad became an alcoholic, to get over when my mom left when i was 5 and it just seemed to hit him hard. He would always come home drunk and he would and still does abuse me. He would tell me that the reason why my mom left is because of me and i'm worthless. He would abuse me daily. Then, I'm constantly bullied at school and more physical pain. And i thought i deserved more pain and 2 years ago i started to cut and shit. Bad thoughts come to my head and control me, then i let them get to me and i suffer." I take a big breath after I finished talking. My eyes started to tear up then i look back at Ashton and tears are falling out of his eyes.

"Great I probably fucked up, again."  I say mumbling.

"No Luke, you didn't fuck up anything It's aright and I'll always be here for you I just want you to know that Lukey. Is it alright if I call you that? He asks with his beautiful hazel eyes.

"Y-yea it's alright." I sniffled between words. He pulls me into a hug and we hug for a minute or two.

"Do you mind if I-I look at t-them without your bracelets." He asks thinking that I'll say no.

"Um yea sure."  I take off all of my braclets and he looks at my open cuts filling my wrist.

"L-Luke they're aweful, a-and so d-deep. You need to stop before they get worse Lukey, okay?" 

"Ashton I try to stop i just can't it's addicting like a drug." I say slightly raising my voice.

"I have an idea. Luke, whats your favorite color?" He asks me.

"What does this have to do with anyt-" He cuts me off

"Just answer the question." He says strictly.

"B-blue"  He gets up trying to find something and comes back with a blue sharpie.  He grabs my wrist and finds an open space even though there is not a lot. I can't see what he's drawing until he moves his hand. It's a butterfly.

"Okay this is your friend. His name is Ashton. It's me, and if you cut he will die, then I will die."

"How can you die if i just hurt myself even I can't." He cuts me off

"If you cut too deep. Okay the point is if you want to cut draw a butterfly and name it who is important in your life. And if you cut everyone dies in the inside because it could risk your life too. Does that make sense?" He questions me.

"Yes I understand."

"Good and if you ever need to, text me an-" I cut him off and kiss him. Before i realize what I just did, I let go and ran out of his house. I ran all the way home and go to the bathroom. The first thing i think about is my blade. I know he  told me not to but he doesn't really care about me. He just wants to make me feel better. I grab my hidden blade and before i know it.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

I started to get light headed so i stop.the blood drips on my shirt. Shit. I put my shirt in a dirty pile and clean up the blood from my wrist  and put some bandages on.

I lay down on my bed then fall asleep. Until I hear my phone go off.

From Ashton :)

You promise me you didnt do anything bad.

To Ashton :)

Yes I promise and im sorry that i kissed you then ran off. Im stupid.

You could tell that I was lying just not through a message.

From Ashton :)

Okay... if you promise and dont be sorry i love your kisses :P okay goodnight ily.

I don't reply because im too tired. Then before I notice I fall asleep hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

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Okay this chapter was a bit sad and im sorry for the trigger warning. But it's 12:25am and I'm really tired but i have sleep insomnia but i cant fall asleep so yeah. Okay this chapter was kinda long but whatever BYEEEE.