A Court of Tears and Starlight

Nothing ever ends

I stood in the meadow. Wild flowers dressed the hills in vivid yellow, red indigo and blue. The sun shone brightly down on me and I squinted in its brightness.

"Feyre!" He called, running towards me in pure joy. His golden hair was tossed about in the gentle breeze as he ran towards me. Strong bronze arms swept me up and he laughed out loud as he spun me in circles.

He slowed to a stop and lowered me gently back onto my own feet. He stepped back, hands still lightly clasping my arms as he looked down on me with such tenderness.

As I looked up into his spring green eyes, all tenderness and joy was stripped away. A snarl ripped out of him and his claws shot out, deeply piercing my arms that he still held.

He gripped me harder, blood gushing from my arms and running freely over his clenched knuckles. I cried out in pain as fire seared through my arms.

Lucien came running over to help but pulled up just short of us and stared on in horror.

"Lucien please" I begged for help.

Lucien's remaining russet eye fixed on me and held a look of pure loathing.

"Admit that you never really loved me and I'll spare you" Tamlin spat.
I looked at him utter shock.

"But I gave up everything for you Tamlin" I sobbed... "Everything."

Tamlin retracted his claws and I dropped to my knees from the blinding pain that jolted through me.

"Everything? EVERYTHING???" He roared, splintering a nearby tree.

"I died for you" I whimpered.

"Then you should have stayed dead" he spat.

"Tam..." I gasped reaching for him.

He stepped back, watching as I tumbled forward into the dirt.

"Don't ever call me that" he said in a cruel quiet voice.

I looked again in hurt and shock at Lucien, waiting for him to help. He stood there, silent and smirking. He raised both his eyebrows at me as if in accusation.

Tamlin looked down at me again, rage transforming him into his beast form.
"Admit it! He screamed. "Admit what a cowardly, lying, inconsistent bit of human garbage you are." But it was no longer his, but Amarantha's shrill voice cursing me. 

I stood up from the ground, moved by a will other than my own. My arms and legs like puppets, moved without my permission as I strode towards Tamlin who had now dropped to his knees.
An Ash dagger was grasped tightly in my hand and swinging up of its own accord. I was forced to look down into those bright green eyes. "I love you," I said, and stabbed him.

"TAMLIN!" I screamed bolting upright in the bed.

I sat there dazed. Taking in huge gasps of air. Faster and faster and faster I gasped until the whole room spun. I knew I was hyperventilating but I just couldn't stop breathing. The room spun even faster and then all went blank.

I woke again. Head pounding from the black out. I opened my eyes and saw the galaxies unfolding above me.

I was in my own bed.

I cringed as I sat upright, looking around. I was alone. Alone in my own room. No Tamlin. No Rhysand. I cringed again.

Had Rhysand been beside me as I screamed Tamlin's name? Had he dumped me back in my own rooms rather than look at me. Now he must surely detest me too.