A Court of Tears and Starlight

Fighting hard

RHYSAND

I hurled the polished vase hard against the wall and watched it shatter into a thousand pieces. I smashed everything in her bed room. When there was nothing breakable left to smash I tore chunks off the bed post, ripping them apart with my bare hands and then splintering them against the walls. I muttered out every curse I could think of and it all did nothing to abate the rising anger and panic within me.

"How can she be so stupid," I cursed loudly before looking for something else to break.

We had fought this morning. I had been planning on spending the day with her, showing her my favourite things and giving her anything she wanted. Instead we had ended up arguing and yelling at each other and then she had left. That had wounded me deeper than I had been willing to concede. I had presumed she would be staying with me forever now, but apparently she still had to be a part of Spring too. Not for the first time in the past century I was weary of all the scheming and politics. I just wanted things to be simple and honest between us. I shook my head, listening to my own internal dialogue. Who was I becoming? To make it worse I had overheard Elliana bragging to the courtiers about all of the delightful things I did to her last night. I scowled, hating that such a deception was necessary. My distaste brought a sardonic smirk to my lips. What had Feyre done to me? I was so dissatisfied with our secret bond. It wasn't enough for me to possess her like I had. I also wanted the whole of Prythian to know that she was mine and to painfully torture anyone stupid enough to gain her displeasure.

I shook my head thinking of the conversation we had had this morning. There had been such terror rimming her big beautiful eyes when she told me all she had discovered and suspected from Hybern. Her lips had quivered and her shoulders sunk forward and rose and fell with small fear-stricked breaths. It was obvious that this conversation was digging up all her trauma from under the mountain.

So the King of Hybern was going to launch an attack upon us any day and Feyre blamed herself. Blamed her humanity and the fact that by living she had once again drawn attention to the age old dispute over the Treaty and human freedom in the non-Fae-occupancy of Prythian. I groaned. Couldn't she see that this had nothing to do with her? The King was a power hungry bastard and would always be looking hungrily across at Prythian. There was nothing Feyre or anyone could have done to prevent this. But Feyre in her wisdom decided that she needed to turn herself in, so that the rest of Prythian were spared. It just didn't work like that I growled as I thought back to our argument.

"Why are you shutting me out?" I demanded suspiciously.

"I'm not!" She glared taking a step back away from me.

"What are you planning?"

She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Feyre?" I growled warningly.

She shuffled uncomfortable and then looked up at me with eyes full of guilt and shame.

"I don't want anyone else to die because of me," she whispered.

I stepped forward, my hands gently reaching forward to cup her down-turned face and tilt it up to meet my gaze.

"Hey. Shhh, it's ok" I murmured.

"No one has ever died because of you," I whispered.

"It wasn't your fault."

She shook her head, rejecting my words and her eyes hardening from the agony inside of her.

"I won't let anyone die in my place this time," she said so quietly I almost didn't catch the words.

As those words fell upon my ears my heart leapt violently in my chest and my hands clenched the sides of her head more firmly than I intended.