Him (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 18

Niall's POV

A week had passed so much slower than I wanted it to. I just really wanted time to fly like it seemed to do these past years. We finished the tour officially a few days ago and now we were doing some extra promo for our album. It sucks though because I haven't enjoyed any of it. I've been sad and just wanting to stay in bed all day and get drunk all night. I did the last part at an awards party. That ended with me snogging the DJ that had really long hair and eveyone thought it was Selena Gomez. Even that guy didn't help because when he offered for me to to back to his place I started crying because I didn't want anyone else to break my heart. I was an overall mess and no one even bothered to help me anymore.

Louis and Liam tried really hard right after Zayn left, but it died off when I shut my feelings off to them. When I'm hurting, I close up so I don't give anyone else the chance to kick me while I'm down. Harry tried to help, but all he did was try to distract me by talking about Louis and his relationship. That involved allot of talk about a new tattoo on Louis in a place I hope I'll never see. Harry always bragged about being a power bottom, but now it seems that tattoo has changed a few things for them. It was disgusting to think about but it was the only time I wasn't thinking about Zayn.

I haven't heard from him and I haven't had the courage to call him like he said I could. I've just been miserable and felt that it was okay to feel as bad as I do for now. I mean, I'm not as sad today as I was when he left me so I guess I'm getting better. All I have to do I look for the positives in things and I'll get through it. But it's still so strange for me to be feeling this sad over a one night stand leaving me. This is why I avoid relationships because I knew it would hurt this bad if they left something so committed. This is just a whole new level of confusing, but I have allot to distractme from over thinking. That's working and doing a ton of interviews.

We got the the radio studio around six in the morning. I knew Zayn worked here, but he works more during the later part of the day. We're here for the breakfast show and we're doing a few interviews with other BBC stations here before having two days here before leaving to America for a little bit. I'm excited for that because I can leave this all behind even just for a few weeks.

The four of us were escorted to the studio part that had been set up for us to do a live streaming of the show as well. We got our hair touched up by Lou and got a little make up on that all of us had gotten used to over the years. Harry had completely lost his voice and was being forced not to talk. The crew all though it was from him over using it during our last shows, but really it was from Louis not knowing what are proper places to put a dick. So Harry was using his phone to talk in a robot app thing and all of us were going over the questions that might be asked to see if we wanted to restrict any of them. Of course, I said no to the Zayn questions and management had no problem crossing that off in order to keep my sexuality the way it's still being viewed.

Around seven the radio show started with Nick Grimshaw interviewing us. Louis hates Nick so there was that rivalry for answers and sassy comments coming from Louis for the first half of the interview as if to prove who was top dog. Liam was regular Liam by lying about nearly everything we weren't allowed to answer or by actually taking about the music he wrote. Harry answered a few questions in his robot voice and I think that was the first time in a week that I actually laughed a real lagh. It felt good and bad at the same time. I felt like I liked feeling happier, but that tiny hole in my heart kept telling me I should be sad.

"Niall, you've been seen with Selena Gomez getting it on. Is that your new love interest now?" Nick joked with me. He knew I was gay so of course he knew I wasn't going to be seen with a female any time soon. I got my big microphone and laughed into it before answering.

"She's just a friend of mine. There's absolutely nothing there. How about you, Nick? I've seen you around with those dogs of yours. Is that your new love interest?" I joked back. He laughed and went on to asking Liam about the album and different things that I know I couldn't have answered as smoothly as he did.