Him (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 21

Zayn's POV

My hand held tightly on to the sink as I looked at my face in the mirror. Looking back at me was a man that was beyond stupid. He believed in something that never existed and never would. He was an idiot to fall in love with with ocean.

Niall was the ocean. He had a dark storm in him that was always threatening to show itself if the earth did something that would set it off. I was the earth in a way. I was a stable, grounded place that liked things the way they were. Niall's waves were everywhere and with that, he couldn't ever have something as stable as the earth. But he mesmerized me until I was waist deep and nearly drowning in him. I wanted to love him and maybe I do love him. In a short amount of time, I loved everything about that Irish ball of trouble. Just like me seeing a picture of the ocean, I loved it without knowing anything about what lies underneath it. Just now I caught a glimpse of the brewing storm and my tectonic plates shifting under it could have made a hurricane.

I splashed cold water on my face and neck to pull myself from those thoughts that I just couldn't come to terms with. Niall was afraid of being alone, yet afraid of being with someone. I hate that I can't wrap my head around that. I want to understand where he came up with that, but I understand just a little in the sense he came from divorced parents. I just want to know him even better so I can love him even better and change his heart, but he's once again like the ocean. There are secrets that will be hidden for the rest of eternity while others will float up to the top but never uncover themselves for the world to see without looking for it.

I walked back out to the living room where Niall was leaning out my newly opened window. I also noticed he had changed the R&B music to some classic slow songs that kind of set the mood to relax the past heated state. My feet took me over to stand next to him and take a deep breath of the cool night sky. We stayed there at my window before Niall looked up at at the star filled sky and pointed.

"I just like looking at them and watching them. When we do concerts at open roof stadiums and arenas, I find myself looking up rather than at the crowed. The crowed is all looking at us, but the stars are far more interesting to look at." Niall mumbled. His hand slowed dropped, but his blue eyes still stayed sparkling back at the stars. It's funny though, if rather look at Niall than the stars any day. He has that glow about him that I've always seen in people. It the one that makes you look at them, but Niall is the first person I've met that doesn't know that he has that power over me.

"The stars are probably thinking the same exact thing when they look down at you. They'd rather watch you while others are looking up at them." I whispered back. I looked away from Niall and looked put at the cityscape in front of me, the whole time Niall's eyes were on me.

"I'm sorry about what happened a few minutes ago. I didn't mean to be such a dick about my own opinion." Niall apologized. I looked over at him and leaned against the window so our fingers were on the window seal bearly touching each other.

"I'm sorry too. I hope that didn't sour anything between us." I said. Niall shook his head and bumped his fingers into mine. We both just looked at each other and gave each other a small nod. I could see it in his eyes what he ment and I knew what I ment.

The differences between us was officially enough to prove we just couldn't make things work. He wasn't obtainable and I wasn't able to handle that. It was a little frustrating to me because I wanted him so bad. I wanted to fight with him about dogs, I wanted to kiss him before bed, I wanted to laugh on the phone when he's far away. I wanted to tell him this too, but I knew now he didn't want to hear it.

Niall's phone rang in his pocket, breaking the silence in the room. I pat his hand lightly and moved away from the window to maybe find something we could both eat. I heard Niall answer his ringing phone, but he sounded like he was ready to talk something business. I stopped listening and got a plate out to put some crackers and grapes out. I was glad I had that at least just to be good to my guest.