A Weekend to Remember

The Puma

As I stood there, in the dark room I call home, I thought to myself, Nash is my lord and savior. I sit down on my bed, and think, I'm ready to tell him I love him. His tubular green body, his recycle bin friends, and the way he talks bad about my body hair. I sit up, and walk to the door, as i opened it, I knew what I was going to do. I go into the living room, and see his Tubular body. Let me correct myself, his perfect green body. I sit down by him. Feeling the butterflies in my stomach.

"Nash." I barely say, barely loud enough for him to hear

He turns off Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and looks at me.

"WhAt iS It iM TryINg tO WaTcH My sHoW!!!!!" he says to me. God, hes such a jokester.

"I love you."

"I've loved you ever since the day I saw your tubular green body in the crowd of the Hannah Montana Concert." I spoke. Louder this time.

Nash looks at me, with a disappointed look on his face.

"I-I Can't date someone with hair. And I'm not talking arm hair either, Im talking Leg hair, Arm hair, mustache, eyebrows, head hair, i mean completely bald. I like a feeling that resembles that of a naked mole rat. Ya Sasquatch."

I was completely heart broken then. The last thing I say to him is, "I am not a Sasquatch. I am a puma. And not just any puma. I am the Puma."

And with that, I left. For good.