Taming The Wild Ones

Chapter Eighteen: Enough To Scare You

Mortal terror can be your ultimate let down, what finally breaks a stone heart.

A harsh reality can become a nightmare, suffocating and imprisoning.

Those are the things that has broken down what was unbreakable, destoryed the indestructible. Since the first breath of man, it's greatest enemy, is not a machine, nor the unknown. It's not the lies sprewn by our neighbours nor the deceit of friends. Man's greatest enemy, is man itself.

My breathing, is the only thing I've heard since the lycan left, the only thing reminding me that I'm still alive. The feeling, it's all gone. No ache, no pain. My chest rises and it falls. I can't feel the cold through my bare flesh, I can't feel the abnormal contours in my body. But deeper, and further than that, I feel nothing.

Blink.

The faintest light can be made from the bottom of the door. Light I have not seen since days. Holy cow, what could I have been doing now? Partying, drinking, fighting? Because that's all my life is. But somehow it was written, that I had to be here, at this very moment, for this very purpose.

Blink.

We often wonder what's is our purpose. The thing is, if we knew, the reason as to why we should fear the man in the mirror would become clear. Would you be able to live for the next hour, knowing exactly how your fate is sealed. To not only be bother by past mistakes, but those you are still to make and there is nothing you can do to avoid it. Would you be able to overlook that and just smell the roses as they say. No, not when everything unravels before you and you a mere stranger in your own life. In order to define yourself, you have you know yourself.

The question, just how much do you want to know? Enough to scare you.

What we really fear is not that we'll never measure up, it's that we have more power than we can handle. That's we different for a whole unknown purpose, somthing to fear, something that lies within us. Who are we? Who am I? Constantly people belittle us, break us and hurt us, some more than others. But even from birth, everything was planned, a greatness bigger than we can imagine. Once we liberate ourselves from the fear that holds us down, well maybe we should just embrace that what we know.

You see, it's not the lycans I should be afraid of.

What I fear most, is me.

"One can never be careless when it comes to your mind. It's the one thing that will always remain. Once everyone is gone, it's still there. Your mind always knows Haley, more than you think. It's a bigger part of your, the only part that matters."

"What about your heart?"

"Your heart? Don't be a fool. It's mind over matter. Your heart doesn't define who you are. It's your mind, your voice, your seeing eye. It speaks to you when you listen."

"That's not always possible Eli, we can't listen to our minds, well not always." I spoke calmly.

He then turned to me, a greater urgency than I have ever seen in his green eyes. He grabbed my shoulders, pulling me closer until we were just a breath apart. I squirmed under his grip, my heart fluttering madly.

"Always listen Haley, never forget that. You listen to your mind, or it will take over at the worst time."

A conversation once spoken more than a year ago came back to haunt me. Elijah was right at the time. We don't give our minds enough credit. At the time I thought he was just preaching his stoner shit. Now I understood.

Things have been happening, a forbidden silence that was deafening. An impulse, a tremor, it was a silent voice constantly whispering to me, waiting and waiting. I had overlooked that, I had forgotten. It's been happenin more than usual lately, at times impossible to fight. Everyone has a dark side. Now mine was manifesting, right before my eyes.