The Next Generation: The Peak of Defeat

Prologue: Jace POV

So she didn't feel the same. So what? Get a grip, Jace. You're her friend. Friend. Not boy-friend. A voice from a million years ago echoed through his head. 'He's about as sexually attractive as a brother...or a spoon...or a lamp.' Lampzoned? Was that even a thing? Jace Parker stopped himself from continuing on that train of thought with great difficulty. Rolling his eyes, he was struck with the thought, Damn, I have really pathetic internal monologue.

Jace felt the rain slamming into him and even though it didn't feel all that pleasurable, turning around wasn't an option. She was back there and she was mad at him for reasons he didn't exactly understand. She didn't like kissing him, so why'd she kiss him back? That was the question that kept bugging him. Or maybe he was focusing on it to keep the hope alive. It wasn't like he had exactly felt most of the kisses. It was like he was floating above himself or watching through a window. You know, all those cliché out of body experience deals. But the last two, those had been him. He had to kiss her. Had to know what it actually felt like to have her lips on his. It would have driven him crazy. At least that's what he kept telling himself. It was an experiment, he downplayed. I didn't actually want to kiss her or anything. It really didn't feel like lightning bolts up and down my spine (and I know what that feels like).

He let out a groan and came to a halt in the sidewalk. The rain pounded down like less destructive bullets. When had he become such an absolute pansy? If he liked a girl he would tell them immediately. But, oh no, loving a girl was a big difference. He grimaced. As far as he was concerned, love could go take a hike. Straight into a volcano. After being eaten by a pack of hyenas. He wasn't too fond of love or anything that remotely promoted love. Cupid especially.

He loved Percy and Annabeth and Tessa and Finn but that was family love. Love where you would die for them without a second thought. Then there was the other love, the kind that felt like you were already dying, slowly and painfully. He never asked for the second kind of love. The kind that makes you walk in the rain and be all dramatic at 2 o'clock am in the morning. No thank you, he'd rather have a refund. Yet here he was. Rain and being all dramatic. Jace cursed at himself and shoved his hands in his pocket.

And the stupid thing was, he already wanted to apologize to her just so he could get her smile again. He wanted to be close to her and hear her quiet laughter and tell inside jokes. He wanted to apologize to her for almost saying things he knew she didn't want to hear.

This is stupid, he thought kicking a pebble half-heartedly. I'm sixteen and this is stupid and everything is stupid. Why am I in love now? This is stupid. I command myself to stop. Jace paused to gauge his feelings. Dammit, myself. I gave you an order! He had resigned himself to being crazy long ago. Jace stared moodily at a lightened display window, offended that it had the audacity to be anything other than dark and gloomy at the moment.

He wanted to check his phone for any texts from a certain girl that he refused to think the name of at the moment, but he had left it at the apartment. Immediately, he got worried. What if something had happened? He instantly felt annoyed at himself. Even if something had, she could have handled it easily. Unless she was asleep.

He sighed and blinked water out of his face. He wanted to go back but he didn't want to go back. He'd see her but he'd see her glare at him for something he had wanted to do since the tender age of thirteen. But he wanted to see her. He turned and began walking back, considerably faster than he had been going the other way. Rain drilled into his face now, nearly blinding him, but he was too busy formulating apologies and trying to content himself with being her friend and nothing else. And never having an excuse to kiss her again. Lightning flashed and he couldn't help but shoot a glare up at the sky, right at his so called father. It was out of habit.

He'd never met his father. Never wanted to. End of story.

As he passed a grocery store, he had a sudden urge to get cocoa puffs, just like she asked him. Only his pride and blatant broke-ness prevented him from buying the whole stock of cocoa puffs. Usually doing stupid stuff like that would make her laugh. He doubted it would work now. The back part of his mind wondered if this would always make their relationship weird. He didn't regret the kiss. He couldn't bring himself to. He swore he could still feel her lips on his. But not kissing her ever again he could deal with. Never being able to talk to her again? No. He could not deal. He refused to even consider it.

He'd win her back and not with cocoa puffs, but with the pathetic-ness of Jace without Sarah. That was his master plan. Be utterly pathetic until she baked him cookies and braided his hair. Or most likely kicked him and told him to quit. It struck him again how spectacularly stupid he sounded but honestly, his talents had always been in the hot, sarcastic, badass category and not really the brainy department.

He stood outside the front door of the hotel, mentally steeling himself. So what if she doesn't like you like that? At least you've got her for now. Kinda. A mental image of her finding some guy who was somehow more attractive and more skilled than himself flashed in his mind. Closely followed by an image of the guy suddenly disappearing and never being discovered again, even after the authorities were involved. He moved quietly along the corridor of sleeping guests, barely sparing any regret for the path of rain water he was leaving behind him.

He easily swiped the key card and stepped stealthily inside the apartment, low to the floor in case Sarah threw something at him, which would not be a first. The place was quiet, a few lights left on. Jace realized it was for him and he smiled at the thought that maybe she wasn't that mad after all. He shrugged off his jacket and discovered that it had literally soaked all the way through to his shirt.

"Nice," he said peeling it off of his stomach and flinging it back down with a wet flop. Not even bothering to think, he made his way to Sarah's bedroom, mind set on apologizing and hoping she was half asleep when he did so in order to make it easier. The door creaked open and he winced. Then he hurriedly stepped in and shut the door behind him. Spinning around, it took him a few moments for his eyes to get used to the darkness. He saw her in her bed, only a small rumple in the sheets. He moved across the floor to her, drawn like a magnet to its opposite or a moth to flame.

She was pretending to be asleep. She didn't even sleep on her side, who was she kidding? Without thinking, he brushed his hand across her hair. "I know you aren't asleep," he told her, softly.

"Jace?" Her slightly sleepy voice saying his name shouldn't have made him weak, but it did. He knelt down beside the bed as she rolled over to face him. He never got tired of looking at her. He could stare at her for days and still be able to find something new to like. This time it was the curling of her eyelashes and when she blinked in surprise at seeing him, he was hypnotized and struggled to speak.

"I'm sorry," he managed to get out. "I'm so, so sorry. I-" Her face was concerned and she squirmed over the edge of the bed.

"Jae," she whispered. She hadn't called him that in years. He used to pretend he hated it. "You're all wet." Her hand ran through his hair, sending chills all over his body. It isn't fair that she can do that, he thought.

The next moments passed in a blur, all he remembered was trying to apologize and her making him change. And the imprint her hand left on his skin when she touched his shoulder. And then she asked him to stay. How could he say no? For a second, he forgot that being someone's replacement teddy bear meant being cuddled. After teasing her about said bear, she fell asleep claiming that nightmares plagued her. She curled into his side, her arm thrown out over his stomach. It had gone better than planned or ever hoped. She let out a small noise and carefully to not wake her, he twined his fingers through hers.

He remembered being relaxed.

Then falling asleep.

He was jolted awake by a scream. Robin. He leapt out of the bed with the smallest of backwards glances at Sarah's sleeping form and raced from the room, thinking that it was better not to wake her.