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I hate myself.

I hate my hair. I hate that it is so fried it doesn't do anything. I hate that it is either frizzy or flat and it won't curl and no matter how much time I spend on it it will never curl. I hate that it has roots, I hate that it is blonde. I hate that the blonde is an ugly yellow color that I can't look away from, that draws everyone's eyes.

I hate my ears. I hate that I have to make my hair fluffy enough that it covers them, I hate how my ears stick out so much. I hate that no matter what I do I will always have ears that stick out so much that if I don't cover them I hate them and others will make fun of them.

I hate my face. I hate that it's square like a cardboard box. I hate that it doesn't have any of the features others would consider "feminine," and I hate that I have no cheekbones. I hate that it has moles and that it is red and blotchy.

I hate my eyes. I hate that they are so small, that they are squinty, that they are a plain color when both of my parents have bright eyes. I hate that they are shadowed by my top eyelid, I hate they they have constant giant bruises underneath of them.

I hate my lungs. I hate that when I cry they sound like they are choking and I can't breath. I hate that I can't run any amount without my chest feeling like it is dying. I hate that when I laugh I sound like I am wheezing, and I hate that when I cough it sounds like I am quietly laughing. I hate that people make fun of me for these things no matter how much I try to stop these things from doing these things.

I hate my skin. I hate its freckles and its moles and the stretch marks and the scars. I hate the discoloration. I hate the little red bumps that appear all over my skin and itch, and that no matter what I do that I will have this bumps for the rest of my life. I hate that these bumps leave scars. I have that my skin is both oily and dry, and I hate that my skin will break out.

I hate how skinny I am. I hate that no matter how much I eat I will never be "curvy" or whatever they want to call it. I hate that my boobs look the way they look. I hate that you can count my ribs, that people look and me and wonder if I even hate food, or if I hate myself.

I hate that society tells me to love all of these things about myself while at the same time that society makes fun of every one of these things. I hate that even when I say all of these things people will tell me that I am lucky to be some of these, or no I'm not some of these.  I hate that even as these people tell me this, the next time I go into public someone is bound to comment on any of these things.

I hate that I don't let these things get to me. I hate that instead of feeling bad when other people tell me these things, I feel bad only when I judge myself. I hate that society has shaped me to care about only what I think of myself yet in the same breath tells me I shouldn't love myself. And for that I don't.

I hate myself.

This is not made to be commented on. This is written purely for the purpose of writing. This was written for a view I possess and nothing more. I don't write for sympathy, but I want people to know what every teenage girl on this earth thinks. If you love yourself, know I am happy for you.