Everything is slowly getting worse and worse. I spend every day sitting by myself, listening to the clock tic toc tic toc and the more I listen the more I waste away and dread the day that I stop hearing that clock tic. The day everything goes black. The day that no one knows what happens after it happens. The day that I die. 4 days and it will have been a month in dating andrew. A month flew by so quick and I couldn't stop it. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. I'm in pain. Not physical, mental. I have anxiety attacks every day and they last for hours and I can't stop them because no one knows except 2 people and they can't help it in any way possible. My parents don't listen to me. They don't understand. My life is slowly coming to an end. Every day we pass our unexpected death date. That terrifies me and I think back to great memories and look at old pictures and break down and cry. I'm tired of holding my tears and why I have them. This is why. I'm never okay, and this is why.
