Broken | Dan and Phil Fanfiction [COMPLETED]

LILW

-Phil's POV-

Love is like war.
One wrong move and it's over.  When you win battles, it doesn't even matter because there's always going to be another one.
And you'll always be hurting. You'll always be wounded, and you'll never heal because the only difference between love and war, is that in love, the scars never fade. The pain never goes away and you'll never be able to forget.

I was just laying there, in my hard hospital bed, helpless. Meghan and Dan were still outside arguing but I had stopped listening. I had already heard enough. I had already heard that Dan still loved me, and that made me mad. I think I was mad because I wanted to be forgotten. I didn't want to hurt anybody else around me and it made me mad that somebody still cared for me.
People say that right before somebody is about to kill themselves, they regret it. I didn't regret it, and I still don't. I still want to be dead and I still want to forget about Dan.
I didn't want to be here I just want to go back home. Maybe I'll try again, maybe I can actually do it right the second time. I was straining all my muscles and I wanted so badly to move but I just couldn't. Everything ached and I was just so exhausted. I was tired and the weight of my eyelids were starting to become too much.
"Phil?"
I snapped up and looked to see that Meghan and Dan were back in the room and they both wore concerned looks.
"Um, the doctor said that the medication they put you on will probably make you really drowsy so he said that you should probably sleep." Meghan stated
Dan looked at me with sad eyes, but didn't make an effort to say anything. I nodded, but didn't get very far, because right before I closed my eyes I threw up. 

~~~

I felt horrible, I was nauseous, and the doctors just kept trying to make me eat things. I had thrown up four times, and you'd think that by now, they'd realize that anything I eat is just going to get thrown up. Meghan and Dan just sat in the corner looking like an old married couple that was visiting their son in the hospital. Meghan just kept repeating what the doctors said and Dan kept telling her to calm down. Seeing them like that just made me even more nauseous. I also felt physically disgusting. My hair was greasy and I probably smelled like a dead rat. I was also still very tired but I couldn't sleep, not when I felt this bad. They said it was probably the dalaudid that they put me on, it sometimes makes people drowsy and nauseous.
Dan hadn't talked all day, he just stared at the ground and occasionally he would look at me, but then quickly look back down like he made a mistake.
"Just leave."

"What?" Dan finally met my eyes.
"If you're just going to sit there and do nothing, not even talk to me, then I don't see why you are still here. You are wasting your time."

"I'm not here for you, I'm here for me. I'm not the one who pretended to like somebody. I'm also not the person who dated somebody else while he was pretending to like somebody. Then, I'm not the one who goes home and slits his wrists out of, what, guilt? Shame..? I actually liked you and I feel completely stupid for even thinking that you felt the same way." He paused for a moment and I could see tears forming at the bottom of his eyes. "Maybe you're right, maybe I should leave."

"You think that was all a joke?"

"Yeah, I do think it was all a joke."

"I really fucking liked you Dan!"

"Yeah, were you telling yourself that while your tongue was all in her mouth?" He points over to the doorway where Meghan had just walked back in.
Yeah, I still loved Dan and yeah, I still loved Meghan and this was not the time to be yelling at each other but after all, it is what I do best.
"It's not all about you! I felt like I let you down and yeah, I did feel guilty. I felt guilty for dating two people at the same time. I felt so damn guilty that I wanted to die. I still want to die!  but I was dealing with other shit too. I've wanted to die for years. And you know what? That's probably gonna be the first thing that I do when I get out of this hospital. So how about you take your fucking things and go, because you don't seem to give a fuck anyways." I took a deep breathe and realized Meghan was still standing in the doorway in shock. "You should leave too Meghan." I felt my face burning red and the tears had slipped out of Dan's eyes.

"You're so fucking selfish. The only thing you're thinking about right now is yourself. You think that if you died nobody would care, but that's not true. Meghan and I have been at this hospital for the past day because we care about you, but if you're just gonna act like a bitch then maybe we should stop."
He turns and starts walking towards the door.

"Hey, Dan you can't just leave. C'mon. Phil is on pain meds, he's delusional... you still love him." Meghan pleaded with Dan.
"Yeah maybe I do, but that's a mistake, because you also love him too."
Meghan got quiet.
"He needs you."

"no he doesn't."

"Well.." Meghan grabbed his arm to prevent him walking any further towards the door. "you need him. I can see it in your eyes. You really don't want to leave this hospital. Even though you are mad at him, you still really need him. Please.. you can't just leave him."
Dan looked back at me and I saw something new in his eyes, something that I hadn't seen before. It's wasn't sorrow, or hate, or lust, it was regret.

A/N
Oohh a tension filled chapter. Btw Dan feels regret for being a dick to Phil, not for dating him.  Annnyways HAPPY NEW YEAR wooo 2016 here we come!! Also yall got me at like 900 reads which is 100 away from 1K and um I might have a heart attack if that happens.Don't forget to comment and vote <3