Broken | Dan and Phil Fanfiction [COMPLETED]

Love is Confusing

-Phil's POV-

Shit.
I know he doesn't believe my story about face planting into the tree, but I don't think he'll continue to argue with me. 

I had been dreading this moment. I thought it would be so embarrassing and awkward, but we were talking like nothing happened. I mean, nothing did happen. It was just a quick peck and then Dan bolted.

And then I went to Meghan's.
Maybe that wasn't the best option.
I had just tried to kiss Dan. The guy who I thought I liked. And then I went to Meghan's, and I kissed her, and I realized how much i missed her. I felt something amazing when I kissed Dan and I also felt something great when I kissed Meghan. What the hell do I do. Meghan would probably take me back in a heartbeat but I feel like I needed Dan. Something about him, it kept my heart beating.
This is an absolute disaster. What the hell am I going to do? I mean I can't exactly have both. Well, i guess theoretically I could, but I would never do that because I'm not an asshole.
Maybe I should just go back to Meghan because Dan doesn't want me anyways. He's obviously not gay or just not into me. Plus, there's so much he doesn't know about me that I don't really want to tell him. Meghan knows all of my secrets. She probably knows me better than I know myself. But it didn't work out last time. Why am i thinking that it would work if we tried again.
I guess I must have look somber or something because Dan looked up and asks me what was wrong.
"Nothing."

"You sure?"

"I said I'm fine!"
Jesus
Phil, you need to calm down.
I need to but I can't.
I can't control the anger.
I'm a monster. Just like my father. People around me are going to get hurt. What do I think I'm doing. I can't have a relationship with somebody. They'll just get hurt.
I've already hurt Dan.
I saw fear in his eyes.
He was scared of me. 

I just need to be alone and give myself a chance to calm down.

I don't say anything else to him the rest of the period. I don't even say goodbye to him when we go to our next class.
I've known him for only a couple of days and things are already falling apart. 

The final bell rings and I grab my bag as quickly as I can and rush out of the room. I push through the large crowds of shuffling teens and somehow manage to make it out the front doors ahead of everybody else. Once outside, i stop at the crosswalk to let a car pass, and then get to my car as fast as I can. 

I don't feel like going home but I'm sure as hell not staying here at school.
I pull myself into my orange dream machine and flick the key to start the engine. I decide I pretty much have only one choice, and that's to go back to Meghan's. I don't know if we'll ever be able to have what we had or if we'll ever be a thing again, but I do love her and I had to try my best.

I tap my knuckles on her front door and wait for an answer.
"Hello who - Phil?"

"Hey, um I was just passing by and..."

"Yeah it's fine. Come in."

"So what's on your mind?" She asks as I sit down on her bed.
"So many things Meghan, but today all I could think about was how much I missed you."

"Phil I..."

"I know it's crazy. But you were literally my other half and I'm so lost without you and I just miss you so much. I just need to be around you and I don't even know if we could ever be a thing again but-"

"I think we could work something out."
And before I could say anything else she puts her arms around me and our lips collide. I place one hand around her chin and the other on her arm. The moment was sweet. It was beautiful and it was something I needed so much. I guess I didn't realize until now, how much I actually missed her. I talked to her every single day just a couple months back and now we've gone weeks without talking.
She pulls back away from me and laces her hand through mine.
"So?"

"So what?" I ask confused

"So are we gonna try this again?"

"Yeah." I laugh "I guess so."