I look at the house in shock. There was a large poster hanging above the staircase that said "You're amazing" and many party decorations all around the room. There were a few bowls of ice cream sitting in the coffee table and glitter and streamers everywhere. "What's all this for?" I ask very confused about the situation. Signe comes up behind me "to appreciate what a great person you are. I may not have personally known you long, but Sean has told me so much about you. And they both love you so much." Signe finishes and gives me a hug. Tears begin to form in my eyes. "Oh what's wrong?" Signe asks trying to wipe away the tears. "Oh nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect... And I'm just so thankful and lucky to have great people like you in my life." I say holding back tears. Signe smiles and hugs me, "awe darling. We're lucky to have you in our lives and that's what this is about. Because we love you dear." Signe pulls me in for another hug and I hug her back letting my tears flow down my cheeks.
"Let us have time for hugs too!" Jack yells walking over to me and Signe. "Shut your face. I'll give you time with her when I'm ready. For now, I get to hug her." Signe jokes letting go of me. Jack strokes my hair and smiles brightly. Jack wipes the tears out of my eyes and hugs me tightly. "You really are one of the best things in my life Lanty. We all wanted you to know that." Jack whispers softly to me. I nod, "you and Mark are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'd be lost without you two. Thank you so much dad." I whisper back while more tears come flowing from my eyes. "You're welcome Lanty. Wanna say hi to Mark?" Jack whispers to me. I nod, "I probably should. Thanks again." I say letting go of our hug. "Hey, don't cry dear." Jack says while he once again wipes away my tears. Mark walks over to me and Jack slowly walks away after whispering something to Mark. Mark nods and pulls me in for a hug. "Hey kiddo." I smile, "hey." I hear Mark sniffle, "you okay?" I ask worried at what I had done. Mark pats my back, "I'm fine. I'm just haply that you're here with us." Mark whispers to me. He sounds like he is about to, or already is crying on my shoulder. "I'm happy to be here." I say in return while tears sting my eyes again.
"Well... Uh... We have ice cream for you." Mark says pulling out of the hug and quickly wiping tears from his own eyes. I smile softly, "thanks. Let's go have some ice cream." I say dragging Mark to the coffee table. We all sit around the table and eat some ice cream together. We talk a little, but I mostly just take everything in. I quickly remember that I cut a few days ago and cover my arm hoping none of them will see since they haven't since I've worn long sleeves every day, but right now my wrist is showing. After we have our little celebration Signe and Jack go to bed pretty early. I guess Signe has jet lag and is getting used to being here.
"Well, I'm kinda getting tired, so I'm gonna go to bed." I say about to stand up from the couch. Mark suddenly grabs my arm and pulls my shirt up to show my cut wrist. He looks up at me quickly, "when did you do this?" He asks sounding very concerned. I stay quite and sit back down. "When?" Mark repeats. "A few days ago." I mumble trying not to be heard. "I know it was after we adopted you. I saw the cuts on your arm interviewing day. These are fresher." Mark sighs. "Why did you do it?" Mark asks sounding sad. Tears prick my eyes, "sometimes... I don't feel anything... Nothing but sadness and I hate it... So... This is a way to feel something else." I say trying to justify what I did. "Why are you sad? I thought you were happier here." Mark says in a sad and concerned voice. "That day... A lot of memories came to me... And..." Tears come pouring out of my eyes as I begin to cry. "I'm so sorry... I... I just miss my mom." I say in between sobs. Mark wraps me into a hug. "I miss my dad... But I'm sorry for you. I know how it is to lose a parent." Mark says in my ear as I hug him. I think back to the accident and I try to stay away from that part of my mind. That part of my mind is what led me to cut in the first place. "I don't miss my dad." I say harshly finally stopping my tears from coming and pulling away from Mark. "He used to beat my mom and me. He always was drunk and forced me and my mom to clean and... Do things... One day he raped me... And I ran away and cut myself in a nearby forest. That day... My dad beat my mom to death and he was sent to prison. I was lucky to be found almost dead in the woods by some police. They took me to the orphanage and I still wanted to die when I was there. I thought it would never get better and I got in an awful habit of cutting when I wanted to feel..." I say avoiding Marks eyes. Mark wraps an arm around me, "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that must've been like for you and I'm sorry you had to go through all that. But... Please... This isn't the option you need." Mark says softly gesturing to my arm. "Will you promise me never to do this again?" Mark asks in a soft tone. I nod, "I promise. I'll go grab my last razor and give it to you." I say wiping the tears out of my eyes. I'll never do it again. As long as I have you and Jack.
