No Control

Chapter 2

Because of the sun's illuminating rays, I slowly opened my eyes and groaned. I forgot to push the curtains together last night and now, I'm experiencing sunburn. Okay, I overreacted.

I sighed and figured out what should I do today because I have no work and no school. Luckily, until tomorrow.

My brain doesn't even process correctly. I can't think of anything else to do. I don't have the energy to walk or even, stand up. My body feels so numb. I slowly sat up from my bed and looked around my room. It's a mess, just like me.

"I hate my life." I say that every morning since the day that Mason and I broke up. It's becoming a routine now.

Before, I usually like to keep things tidy and organized like how my mom taught me. But now, I don't care anymore. When I saw the television remote, laying on the floor, I reached my hand down as I retrieved it.

I don't have the energy to eat breakfast today so, I switched the television on and laid my back on the headboard. The moment the television was on, it was all about the news. I don't really care about the world anymore, I just want my Mason back. I can't really use the word 'my' because he's not mine anymore.

I frowned at what my mind is thinking. I just can't seem to move on.

Every time I switched channels to find something decent to watch on a Saturday morning, I find it so hard because there is nothing to watch.

Thinking about Mason is breaking my heart into pieces, shattered attitude and for me, it's like the end of the world. Everything seems so different when I'm not with him.

I am just broken.

I looked at the clock and it's already noon. Time runs fast and it never change, like my feelings for Mason.

I decided to turn off the television. Nothing's good about it, anyway. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't think straight. All I think about is Mason. He's all my brain wants me to remember or give importance too.

God, I feel so depressed. I hate that I still love Mason after what he did to me. He was my first boyfriend, so, I don't blame myself for acting this way. Some people say I'm overreacting to my depression but I think they just don't understand me yet. Or maybe it's me that I don't understand? Why can't I just accept the fact that Mason is a--

My thoughts got interrupted when my stomach grumbles. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday. Annoyance hits me, I lazily stood up from my bed and walked downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen and opened my refrigerator. There's a lot of food in here that I don't eat much. Mia bought these for me. She's like my mother, always taking care of me and provides me everything that I need.

I will never find a girl like her in my life.

I choose to cook fried chicken because it's the taste that I miss so much and this is Mason's favorite food. Great, even through chicken, I still remember him.

I tear the wrapper open. Luckily, it's not that frozen. I washed it and good thing, it's already cut. All I need to do is put the breading and cook it. Once I put the breading on, I turned on the stove and placed my chicken on a pan with minimum oil in it.

I hate that I love this house so much. It's the only thing I have left of Mason, I guess. I wish he'd visit me or something. I always hope that one day, there's a knock on the door and when I opened it, it's him, welcoming me with open arms. I will scream and hug him tightly and tell him how much that I have missed him. I would tell him about my day and we would tease each other about pointless stuffs. We would kiss and cuddle through the night. But I know that will never happened again.