No Control

Chapter 1

Everything that's negative in life, I have that in me: depression, loneliness and sadness.

My life is a misery. Everything about it, actually. Things that you thought would make you feel alive and wonderful, all of that went fading away, like dust.

Perfect is an anathema to me. A word that I hate and abominable to hear. People used to say that to me, that I'm perfect. Everytime they say it, I feel amused. But now, everytime I hear it, it makes me nauseous.

Nothing was perfect. I just expect too much in my life that I want everything to be precisely the way I wanted it to be.

Expectations leads to disappointments. This quote is totally right.

I live here in this house since I was eighteen to have some time alone. I don't like it when my parents just come barging in my room so I bought this house with the help of my parents, who are willing to give me what I want.

Right now, I feel broken and nobody can even fix me. I'm uncurable.

Suddenly, I heard a voice coming from downstairs, waking me up from my thoughts.

"Aria!"

Oh great.

Hearing the door swing open, I sighed.

I should learn how to lock that--

I sigh. Even if she creeps towards my bed, I can sense that she's here again.She better not wake me up. It's Saturday.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Aria, wake-up." She said, gently shaking it.

"Saturday, no school." I said, clearly not wanting to get out of bed.

"No, tomorrow is Saturday and today is Friday so get up!" She shouted, poking my sides.

Really? I don't bother looking at my calendar now.

"Didn't I tell you that I'm not going to school today? Just go without me." I said, pulling the blanket up to my face.

She pulls the blanket off and climbs on top of me. What is she doing?

"What are you doing? Get off!" I shouted, swatting her.

She placed her legs on either of my sides and pin my hands above my head. "Don't be so difficult."

Groaning in annoyance, I replied. "Get. Off."

"If I do, will you go and shower?" She said and smiles, not showing her big white teeth. I fight to pin her down but she's too strong.

I sighed in defeat. "Fine." I just really want her to get off.

She climbs off and lay down on my bed.

Sitting up from my bed, "I hate my life." I say to myself.

"But I thought you said that your life was perfect." She emphasized the word perfect. She's clearly teasing me.

"Shut up. You know how that word gets to me." I rolled my eyes at her.

She sat up and hugged me. "Just forget about Mason." She says softly, making feel me better but I just sighed.

"It's not that easy."

Before she can say another word, I stood up and walked into the bathroom that was connected to my room.

I closed the door and wrapped the towel around my hair. I don't have time to wash and dry it before we leave.

I stripped and went in front of the shower.