God, It Has Started The Wrong Way Round

Why Me?

Tomoe was definitely sure that he'd been tricked. He was completely prepared for the result of deception. It wasn't like any person on the street would allow another to take over their home. The thing was, he was not prepared for the rundown shrine before him.

Oh god. The wooden steps creaked beneath him as he stared at the small, gloomy shack.

I half-expected this but honestly, come on! That's like dumping salt in the wound! I have the worst luck ever!

As Tomoe sunk deeper and deeper into depressing thoughts of revenge and self-pity, he heard a crackle. He lifted his head up, and saw the whole landscape before him covered in light.

"Welcome back, Mikage-sama."

He let out an unruly screech and stumbled forward, rushing towards the shrine, the only place that looked safe right then. What the hell was that?! His mind whirled as he tried to think of how what he just witnessed was possible. As he did, his face remained calm, even when he had screamed. He had perfect the art of the expression mask long ago. Then again, this was not the time to think about that!

"Ah, wait! Mikage-sama!"

Ignoring the repeating voices, (and the flames reaching out to him) he scrambled to the side of the shrine was and huddled in on himself.

Maybe I went into shock after the old man left, and this is all a hallucination? Ah yes, that would explain everyth-

"Mikage, is that you?"

Tomoe froze, not daring to move. The voice that he had just heard was definitely female, and it was fairly low.

Also, it practically radiated death.

A shadow of a female figure slunk in front of him, shaking with what he guessed was anger. The shadows covered her face and dark blue fire simmered around her. Tomoe was still frozen in fear.

"Where have you been, Mikage? How come you left me, to take care of this damn place for twenty years?!"

By the end of the sentence, the voice had risen considerably, and suddenly, the figure launched itself at him. Tomoe barely scrambled backwards, and rolled to the side as the person lashed their hands out at him.

"I'M GONNA FREAKING KILL YOU! I'LL WRING YOUR INTESTINES OUT, YOU BLOODY PIG! I'LL HANG YOUR SKIN ON THE CLOTHESLINE! I'LL PICKLE YOUR EYES IN SAKE, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF - !"

Her sharp hands dug into his shoulder as he yelled in a panic,"HEY! I'M NOT MIKAGE!"

The person froze for a moment and then flipped backwards, landing in a crouch. She stared at him, chocolate brown eyes warm in the darkness.

Now that she wasn't trying to dissect him, Tomoe could vaguely discern her features in the dim blue light.

His first thought? She looked pretty damn good for a girl who was probably well over twenty years old.

Silky dark brown hair reached down to her shoulders, and her skin was pale and clear. She wore a flowing silk purple kimono, with flowers embroidered over it. And wait...were those animal ears on her head?! His eyes widened as he took in the triangular patches of fur on the top of her head, pricked and alert.

What the - ?! Actually, I don't even want to ask... Too many weird things have happened today...

The girl scowled at him. She looked like she would bite off his head. "Onikiri! Kotetsu! This is not Mikage!"

Suddenly, what looked like two kids appeared out of thin air, floating around the girl. They both wore masks and kimonos as well.

"But Nanami-sama, that's ridiculous! Look, there's the symbol of the land god, on his forehead!" One of the kids pointed at his head. Tomoe immediately reached up and clutched at the bangs in front of his face. There was nothing there.

What? Oh, maybe it was when that weird guy touched my head?

He frowned as the girl and the kids continued to argue.

"We can feel Mikage's spirit from him, faintly though."

"Well, he isn't Mikage, in the flesh, and you know that!"

The girl turned on him again, a menacing glint in her eye. She towered over him and stared at him with contempt.

"So, who the hell are you?"

神様はじめました

"Mikage, that idiot! What the - he said he gave his house to you?!"

Nanami shrieked. She snatched the paper out of Tomoe's hand and held it up. The two kids - spirits, Tomoe corrected himself - floated around her head.

"Goodness," One of them muttered. "It really is Mikage-sama's writing." Nanami gritted her teeth and almost ripped the paper. Stuffing it in one of her pockets, she whipped out an intricate fan and covered her face, huffing slightly.

"The man you met, Mikage, he's the land god around this area." Nanami directed her statement at him. It took a while for him to react.

"Wait, that old man is a land god?!" Tomoe instantly pictured Mikage's goofy demeanour and sweatdropped. After realising what he said,Tomoe internally scolded himself. Here he was, being rude in front of someone who could probably kill him if she felt like it, judging by the size of her claws. He was dancing with death here. Maybe the events of the day had finally gotten to him. Maybe he was going mad.

"Yes he is. " Tomoe sighed in relief. He wasn't dead...yet. "And he's given his house to you. That means that you are the new land god of this shrine."

I'm...a land god?!

Tomoe sat frozen, blinking slowly as his mind came to terms with the statement. As he did, Onikiri and Kotetsu danced around his head.

"We must celebrate the joyous return of the god of Mikage Shrine! A banquet!" They chorused. Delicious food on trays appeared out of nowhere and the will-o'-the-wisps presented them to him. He barely controlled his drooling.

Come to think of it, I haven't eaten anything since this morning. But wait, land god?!

As he reached towards the food slowly, (his hunger was too much to bear, and the food looked like it was cooked by the Angels themselves - or will-o'-the-wisps, whatever) his hand was suddenly slapped away. The animal girl, - he didn't know which animal those ears were from - Nanami, grabbed him by the shoulders and stared at him intently.

One Mississippi...

Two Mississippi...

Three Mississi- god, she finally released him after what felt like eternity, her fiery brown eyes boring into his. She turned away and fanned herself again, as he sat, dumbfounded.

"I'll stay here and teach you the basics. Then, I'll be on my way. Eat something then go to sleep. God training starts tomorrow."

She disappeared in a blast of blue fire.

"Oi! Animal girl! Wait!"