God, It Has Started The Wrong Way Round

Tomoe Must Actually Be A Closet Pervert

Don't own. Will never own. End of story.

Nanami leaned over the mat where Tomoe was lounging, sticking her face into his.

"Oi, Tomoe, when can you start looking for Himemiko?" She said, bopping him on the nose.

"Hn." Tomoe turned away. He'd look for her later in the day, but not tomorrow. It was too troublesome.

He winced a little as she bopped his nose harder. All the skin around it was turning slightly red. Because of the bopping, of course. Definitely.

"Tomoooeee~" She whined, nearly poking him in the eye. Nanami got no reaction except for Tomoe trying to bury his head into the ground. She huffed and pouted while he silently willed her to get off him.

Nanami waited for a few moments. She never was really patient.

Her eye began to twitch. Oh no, no one got away with ignoring her like that.

And all hell broke loose.

"TOMMOOEE!" She roared, slamming her forehead into his. She saw stars, but continued to push down on him, her legs against the ground on either side of his waist. Tomoe let out a very unmanly shriek (well, actually, no one ever said that he was manly) and instantly grabbed for his head.

Unfortunately, luck never went his way, and so, as the great land god of Mikage shrine went to grab his head, his hand hit something on the way. And it hit with a resounding slap.

Oh hell to the no.

That something being, ahem, a certain rear end sticking provocatively in the air, due to the owner of said rear end still pushing Tomoe's skull into the depths of hell.

Well, that was what she wanted to do before. Now, she wanted to send his body, spirit, soul, and mind to burn in black flames. Or maybe blue flames.

Tomoe froze, his hand halfway to his head. He caught Nanami's furious, mortified expression, as well as her burning face. A murderous aura began to surround her as he trembled underneath. He looked up at her and tried his best to wince sheepishly (although he had definitely not regretted his mistake, it would be another, bigger mistake to suggest to Nanami so).

"Ah, sorry Nanami! It was a mistake on my part to ignore you bef-"

He tried. He really did.

But he was completely unprepared as the usually soft, pale, gentle, delicate, (he could go on forever) hand, fisted and slammed into his face.

"Mistake?" Nanami snarled. Blue fire crawled it's way up her sleeves, looming over Tomoe and giving her a deadly glow. Her eyes narrowed and she bared her shining fangs. His nose was already bleeding from the powerful blow.

"You call that a mistake, you-"

As Tomoe tried to lift his hands in surrender, his other hand subtly glanced against her derrière again. It was another accident, he swore. Seriously. Nanami wasted no time dealing another fierce blow before her flames raged around her. Tomoe winced at the searing heat. And the pain.

Oh, the pain.

"PERVERT!" Nanami screeched, leaping off him and kicking him for good measure. Groaning, he was left on the floor as she stormed out of the room, fuming.

Then he passed out from blood loss.

神様はじめました

When Tomoe came to, Onikiri and Kotetsu were hovering around him worriedly. Their faces were blurred as he struggled to open his sticky eyes. When he was fairly certain that his motor skills were decent, he spoke.