The Clay Marble

Long Journey

Trigger Warning: Death

There are moments in life where one feels like they should just be dead. 

That's how Kiry felt when she ran out of the house with her siblings in her arms. The entire neighborhood was screaming, people running out of their houses, chickens squawking everywhere. And the dust. It was like someone took a huge fan and turned it on in front of a mountain of sand. Kiry covered her mouth and nose with the rim of her shirt, dragging her siblings to a safer spot next to their community well. "Stay here with Mony, don't move. I'm going to look for mteay." Sophea nodded with wide eyes and clutched on to her brother tightly. 

Kiry looked everywhere, but it was already late at night and the neighborhood had no electricity so she couldn't see anything. After a couple of hours of blindly searching in the dark, she returned to her siblings with no luck. "Did you find her? Where is she??" Kiry shook her head and Sophea started panicking, "No no! Where did you look? I'll go and look too!" Kiry held her down, "No, it's too dark to see anything. Once there is more light we will continue searching. I'm sure she is fine, sitting somewhere like us. Don't worry, pa oun srey." Sophea tried to nod but her heart was heavy. If Mteay was sitting like them, then where was she? Kiry held on to her sister for dear life, all night. She didn't sleep a wink. 

***

"Mteay!" Kiry frantically ran around, looking for her mother. No. No. No. "MTEAY!" Please, God. It was the next morning, and as soon as there was some light, Kiry left her siblings to continue searching. Looking under benches, in other houses, Kiry kept screaming. She kept pushing others out of the way. She kept asking. Pleading. Then suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something. 

Walking closer, she pulled on the rocks. A hand. No. No. No. Lifting up the rubble with all her might, Kiry looked down. Her eyes widened at what she saw and immediately knelt down to pull it out. Mealea. Kiry selfishly released the breath she didn't realize she was holding. Relieved that it wasn't her mother, but feeling guilty for being egotistical. She looked around and saw a bunch of eggs broken and chickens squashed underneath the rocks all around Mealea. She was probably finishing her chores when this happened. Poor girl. Kiry didn't see Mealea's family around anywhere. What a pity. Then she left to continue searching for her mother. 

Under benches, inside homes, between piles of rubble, calling, screaming, asking. Pleading. Her mother was nowhere to be found. Kiry was losing hope. What would she tell her siblings? That she couldn't find their mother? That she was gone? As she was about to keep searching, she noticed a crowd had formed near one of the houses in the alleyway. She heard wailing and crying. Frantically, Kiry made her way over. People started staring at her. "What? What is it? What's going on?" One of the village elders came up and stroked her hair, giving her a sorrowful look. Kiry's blood ran cold. No. No. No. Please, God, No.

"BONG SREY!! BONG SREY!!" Sophea frantically called to her sister. Kiry just stood there, almost lifeless herself. She couldn't come forward. She couldn't go to her sister. She couldn't look at anyone. She couldn't. No. No. No. Please, God, no. People started pushing her forward. Stop it. Don't touch me. NO. NO. NO. She trudged forward slowly and looked down. Mteay. 

"Bong Srey, look, Mteay isn't waking up. She's playing a game with me, tell her to wake up now. Tell her she won. Please. Bong Srey!" Sophea collapsed on her sister. Kiry couldn't say anything, she just sat on the ground, staring at her mother's corpse. Sophea started wailing and shaking. Kiry did nothing as a tear fell down her cheek. 

***

They buried Chenda late afternoon. 

Sophea couldn't stop crying. Mony didn't understand, as he was only 7 years old, and Kiry felt numb. Kiry looked down at the necklace in her hand. She had noticed it around her mother's neck and took it before burying her. Remembering something, Kiry took the shovel that they buried their mother with and started heading towards her house. Sophea suddenly stood up, "Where are you going??! You can't leave us too. STOP!" Kiry kept walking and Sophea stumbled behind while dragging Mony with her. 

Kiry dropped to the ground and started digging a hole. Sophea looked at her with shock. What was she doing? Then she looked to the side and screamed. Mealea. Kiry looked up at her sister's face. She felt bad. But she also felt nostalgic, because she knew exactly what her sister was feeling at that moment. 

They buried Mealea right outside of her house. Her family was still nowhere to be found, Sophea had gone searching for them but returned with no luck. After the burial, Kiry went to the nearby stream to clean herself off. And to think. What was she going to do now? She looked towards her house and noticed it was still standing better than the other houses that had been reduced to rubble. Finishing up at the stream, Kiry ran back to her house. She went inside and grabbed a backpack, then started dumping some things inside. A bag of rice, some leftover fish, a change of clothes, a water bottle, and some money she had stashed behind a brick in the kitchen wall.

Sophea came inside, "what are you doing? Why are you packing?" Without turning to look at her, Kiry said "go grab a pack and start packing what you need. Don't pack too heavy, only the essentials." Sophea looked at her sister in disbelief, "what are you saying? Our mother just died! We can't leave! Where will we go?" Kiry sighed and as calmly as she could, turned to look at Sophea, "I know. I was there too, remember? But it's not safe here anymore. We have to go. Pack your things and meet me at the front door. Go, now." Sophea turned and ran to her room to pack and came out ready. She had also grabbed Mony's clothes since her mother wasn't there anymore to take care of him. 

The three of them walked outside. Kiry turned to look at her house for the last time. So many memories were made here. Good and bad. She knew she must be brave, that she was taking her mother's role in the family. She promised herself that whatever happens next, she will try her best to take care of her siblings. She wouldn't run away. Sophea clutched Mony close to her chest and grabbed Kiry's hand. 

Circumstances had changed their lives once again.