Can we create something beautiful? (Kellic) (boyxboy)

Chapter 4

Hehehe
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After packing our 'make-shift' bed away, we found a gas station about half an hour walk away. The man working there helped tow Vic's car to the fuel machine and after the car was full of fuel we were able to head back home.

Vic put the key in the ignition an started the car. I sat in the passenger seat next to him and stared thoughtfully through the front window and began thinking to myself. Where me and vic a thing now? Did I mean anything to him? Did I even like him back?

With all these thoughts travelling through my mind an unsettling look was plastered across my face. I didn't want vic to take note of this so I quickly changed my expression to a more relaxed one.

My thoughts trailed to think about vic. Why did I kiss him? I don't know about his band but mine surely wouldn't approve of us being together; I wasn't even sure how they would take to me being gay. I decided to speak to vic.

"Umm about what you did last night..."

He interrupted me. "What?"

"Ummmm... I know it's small....but"

A worried look began to cross his face as my stern tone shocked him.

"I... I don't think this is going to work..."

"You don't think what's going to work?"
He inquired. Was he completely stupid?

"You know...  Us...." I said as I felt my cheeks burning up. I wasn't even certain we were anything at all.

Vic clasped the steering wheel. "Just because I kissed you, doesn't mean we're together you know." His spiteful words stabbed me in the heart, it was clear he was hurt and this was just his way of responding.

I didn't reply, I simply stared back out of the window. The drive home was silent from that point onwards and incredibly awkward.

After about half an hour of driving in complete silence, vic spoke.

"I'm sorry." He simply said, "I didn't mean to lash out at you..."

"Its fine" I muttered, "it was wrong of me to assume we were... Anything..."

A look of sorrow was planted on Vic's face but was then quickly replace with one of mischief.

"But you know..." He began, "we could be something...."

His brown eyes gaped deeply into mine and his angled smile showed his perfectly white teeth. It was at that moment that I realised I truly did want to be with this man, but I couldn't. I still stood by my reasons...

"I- I can't..." I finally blurted out.

The car had come to a halt. We were parked in my gravel driveway just outside my house. The front door was relatively large compared to your average sized door. There was a fountain in the middle of the driveway with a stone plinth of a fish spraying water.

"Why?" He simply asked. He seemed lost for words.

I couldn't look at his sad face any longer and I didn't want to give him the real reason but I also didn't want to lie. I quickly opened the side door spewing out a 'thank you' without answering his question and ran into my house slamming the door behind me and sliding my back down the door to sit with my knees pressed up against my chest.

I wanted to be with vic so badly at this point, but I knew there were so many complications and it just wouldn't work. A tear rolled down my cheek which was followed by a lot more. Suddenly I was balling. Why had I become so week all of a sudden? What had got into me? Tears seemed to fall at any given moment nowadays... I used to be the loud outgoing kellin that would brush any mishap behind him.

When I had stopped crying I reached into my pocket to grab my phone. There were a lot of texts, the first one was from gabe.

Gabe 9:30am
Hey kellin! Where the hell are you dude? You were supposed to be at rehearsal at 9:00am!

I checked the time at the top of my phone. It was 11:00 am. Shit.

I decided to check the other texts.

Gabe 10:00am
Seriously dude, this is stupid. At least reply to my text and tell me if your not coming to practice.

Gabe 10:27am
WHAT IS WITH YOU KELLIN? At this rate were gonna find a new singer for the band. Your a fucking let down.

Deep down I knew Gabe could get angry easily, yet I still let his words get to me like the weak piece of shit I'd become. I couldn't be with the one I wanted to be with and now my only friends had had enough of me. I hit the wall in frustration, then quickly winced at the pain afterwards.

Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my poket. I pulled it out and realised I had received another text from Gabe.

Gabe 11:19am
WHAT THE FUCK KELLIN? I CAN NEVER COUNT ON YOU, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!

Again. I hit my fist against the wall. Why? I don't really know.... I was pissed I guess and  upset...