Islamically Yours

Chapter Eight ~ Breaking Barriers

• Bismillahirahmanalrahim •

Please if you guys haven't prayed yet make sure you stop reading, pray and return. This story can wait but Allah (swt) only knows that time doesn't.

Enjoy reading and May Allah (swt) grant all those reading this firdous.

Salams,
Your Sister In Islam
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Adam's POV
My happiness was short lived as I felt my knees buckle. The world around me began to swim and I almost felt as though things were happening in slow motion. I saw Rayyaan's eyes widen and her reflexes react too late. I saw the colourful charts begin to rise above me and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I mean it didn't hurt, the floor was all rubber but something much more profound was hurting, my dignity and pride.

Call it what you like but that was a breaking point for me and I did something I had literally not done in decades...

I cried.

It wasn't a monstrous howl or animalistic wails but rather silent and heavy tears running down my face, leaving behind their salty trails. Tears that pooled in my eyes and slid down the caverns of my cheeks, off the cascading stubble of my jaw and onto the floor in little puddles.

I cried at my life, or what was left of it anyway. I cried at my pathetic existence and the state I was in. I cried at having not appreciated the simplest of things like being able to stand upright. But I also cried at the fact that out of everyone, it was me who was in this situation. I cried too at not having friends or family around me to support me. I cried for crying in front of Rayyan. But most of all, I cried at the lack of happiness and satisfaction in my life.

Being the witty woman she is, Rayyaan simply knelt down beside my on the floor and began to rub circles on my back. She didn't hug me or hold my hand or anything but simply drew those comforting circles on my back until I eventually grew dry of tears.

It was a comfortable silence but I guess I owed her some sort of thankfulness. This was going to be hard for me, she was going to hold this against me forever. I opened my mouth and said, "listen Mamacita I uh I-I...its"
"You're welcome" she replied with a soft smile painted on her lips.

"Thank you" I said, "but you better not tell anyone about this" I growled. "Hmm...we'll see. What does that mean anyway? Whatever you keep calling me? Despite having told you no nicknames!" She replied, smoothly changing the subject.
"Go search it" I replied smirking. "How do you spell it?"
"You're smart, go figure it out" I retorted.

She simply roller her eyes before getting up to write in what I'm assuming is my progress report. I watched as her fingers danced across the screen and the sound of the keys could be heard. Don't get me wrong, I didn't like her. No way, she was definitely not my type. I liked my girls easy and laid back whereas this feisty little Mamacita would definitely keep a man on his toes. Not the woman for me. But after today, that didn't mean I didn't respect her. And what was something worthwhile.

Breaking me out of my train of thoughts, Rayyaan turned to me and spoke, "you know what you managed to achieve in these three hours usually takes patients around three weeks. I mean your physique helps obviously but more than that is a willpower that will get you back on your feet in no time inshallah"
"So you think I have a nice physique?" I questioned, my cocky attitude returning.
"Seriously?!" She said exasperated and I chucked. "What does that thing you said in the end mean anyway?"
"Go search it" she replied smirking.
"How do you spell it?"
"You're smart, go figure it out" she retorted using my own words back at me. I laughed at her wit, she was definitely something.

But her words about my progress actually meant a lot to me and I felt like I was finally getting somewhere. See I don't have a thick shell to crack when it comes to really knowing me. My guard is scary and intimidating don't get me wrong but thin none the less. It's just that no one would stick around or push further enough to break through. Yet here I was corrected. Little miss Rayyaan had and I was thankful she did.

"I'll see you after tomorrow inshallah. Take care Summers." She said emphasising on the word and waved as I was being wheeled back to my room. "You too mamacita!" I replied and she merely shook her head. A small smile lingered on my lips as I left that room and I felt a strange new feeling...hope.

~•~

It was currently 3:40am and I simply couldn't sleep. The guilt was eating away at me. Damn Rayyaan why did you have to tell me that! The story of Osama was on repeat in my head alongside the way I had treated him. And for some ridiculous reason, I felt bad. This wasn't me. I didn't care what people felt. But then again that was easy when you know they want to hurt you. Yet here was a man who prayed for me, took all my rudeness patiently and had been nothing short of polite.

"AllahuAkbar" I heard a melodious sound float from the bed next door. It was what I had been accustomed to recognise as some sort of prayer and despite my atheism, it was soothing I couldn't deny. The familiar ending to the prayer was heard and I cleared my throat.

A startling thought suddenly entered my mind, what do I call him? My parents had taught me enough to know not to call an elder person by their first name but what do I call him? Just Osama? Ossy? Uncle Osama? Sir? Mister Osama? I decided to just stick with, "uncle...?"

"Uh uncle?" I repeated.
"Yes child" he replied.
"May I open the curtain?"
"Certainly" and so I did. The moonlight cast a mysterious shadow across the many crevices of his face. Each representing a moment in time. A moment of life.

"Uh I-I I'd like to...apologise" I mumbled playing with my fingers. Get a grip Summers!
"My dear son, there is nothing to forgive. Rather it is I who should seek your forgiveness. Please forgive me for my shortcomings son"
"Oh no no no no no! There's nothing to forgive on your side but on my side? I've been a total idiot and so rude to you. And I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me.."
"Listen child, God, Allah (swt) puts people in our lives to teach us. We must gain and benefit from each and every person who enters our lives. This is how you will learn and succeed. And if you insist, I forgive you child" he spoke and I could see his teeth glistening in a warm smile.

And with that I spent the rest of the night pouring out my life story to this old, kind man...