Life Isn't Fair, It Never Was

Chapter 4

"I talked for hours with my dad. Well, not really with my dad but I talked to him. He was always a good listener, and sometimes he would just let me rant for hours and hours, but he never got mad at me. He never got annoyed about it. He even encouraged me to continue when I thought he was bored of me talking. Those memories are what I miss most about my dad being gone. I don't have anyone to vent to. No one is encourage me to keep talking. All I have is this journal, maybe that's why I like writing in here so much. It reminds me of my dad and how he was always there when I needed to vent. I think that's enough considering I just woke up, and I'm still at the cemetery.

With Love, Allyson."

I guess I was really tired last night considering the fact that I slept on the snow. Luckily, it's Saturday and I don't have school. I slowly get up off the ground and wipe the snow off my clothes along with my lilac hair. I say goodbye to my dad and walk home. Even though I don't want to I head home. I walk up the porch and take a deep breathe. Here goes nothing. I open the door and my mom is sitting at the kitchen table. I close the door loud enough for her to hear. Her head snaps up and I can see she's been crying.

"Oh my god, thank goodness you're home." My mom says and rushes towards me. She tackles me in a hug but I don't hug back.

"Look I know you're still mad." She says and I nod. "And I know you're not going to be happy when I tell you this."

"Tell me what?" I say in a mixture between anger and confusion.

"I stole some of your money." She says calmly.

"You did what?!" I say and run to my room. I look under my bed where I keep my extra money. I pull out the jar and see there is only a couple dollars left. My mom followed me up and I can tell she feels guilty. "This was my college fund! This is all I had!"

"I know, I'm really sorry." She says trying to calm me down.

"This was my future! What did you waste it on?!" I ask angrier than before.

"That's not important." She says clearly tired of talking about this.

"What do you mean it's not important? You wasted my future! I'll never be able to make that money in time. I've been saving that for 4 years! There was at least 2 grand in there! How did you waste all of it?" I yell almost bursting into tears.

"I've been gambling it! There happy you know now?!" She says and throws her hands in the air.

"You gambled my future? All of it? Why would you even think about doing that? How did you even know it was under there?" I ask this time in a quieter voice.

"I saw you put the money in there." She says and lows her head in guilt.

"You know what? Just get out! Leave me alone!" I yell and she listens. Once she leaves, I slam the door and fall onto my bed. I look at the money and see I only have 20 dollars left. I can feel the tears falling down my face. Why do all of these things happen to me? Why couldn't I have a normal family? Why did my dad die? Why did he get cancer? Why did my mom start drinking? Why did she start gambling? I hate this. I hate all of this. That was the last thing on my mind as I drifted back to sleep.

When I wake up I realize my mom must have put a blanket on me, because I'm engulfed in warmth. No matter how much I want to I can't stay in bed all day. Reluctantly, I get out of bed and go into the bathroom. I look in the mirror and I'm not even sure who I see. This isn't the girl who was always happy, but then again I haven't seen her in years. My lilac hair has faded to where it almost looks gray. My hazel eyes are puffy from crying all night and they have bags under them. My lips are cracked from the cold. I look dead on the outside, and I kind of feel dead on the inside.

I decide since I only have 20 dollars left, I would go dye my hair. Part of me wants to just dye it lilac again, but the other part of me wants to dye it something different. I decide to wait until I get to the hair salon before settling with a choice. Once I get to the salon, I'm greeted with the girl from the corner store.

"Hi, you're Allyson, right?" She asks a little perkier than when I last saw her. I nod and she smiles. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you. It's just that I was a tad jealous because you were all John talked about."

"Mr.Smith?" I ask in confusion because I never knew his real name. I knew about his wife and kids but he never did tell me his name. Thinking about it I don't think I ever asked, and now it's too late.

"Yeah, Mr.Smith. He was my grandfather, but you were all he would talk about." She says sadly.

"Well I guess it was never anything good. Considering the fact all I ever told him was the bad stuff." I say and push up my glasses.

"He would always say how you were such a good kid who didn't deserve the life you had. He said how you acted shy but you wouldn't let anyone push you around. He loved you like you were his family." She says and I'm almost at the point of crying. "Anyway, enough of the sad stuff. What do you need?"

"I want to dye my hair." I say and wipe away the tears that are about to fall. "I don't know if I should re-dye it lilac or go a different color."

"I vote different color." She says.

"Ok, how about red?" I ask her.

"Red will look fabulous on you now come on." She says and leads me to a chair. "Oh by the way, my name is Dani."

"Allyson." I say and smile. After an hour or so my hair is completely done, but Dani won't show me. "Can I please see it?"

"Not right now." She says trying to style my bangs for the hundredth time.

"How about now?" I ask and she sighs.

"Fine!" She says and spins me around.

"Oh my god." I breathe out. The girl in the mirror doesn't look like me. The red hair makes me look like a completely different person. My hair is done to my shoulder and my bangs cover one of my eyes but it's breathe taken. With a little more work, I could be a completely different person. "Hey Dani.Remember how I told you my name was Allyson?"

"Yeah?" Dani says in confusion.

"Yeah, it's Ally now." I say and smile at the name. 

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Word Count: 1224

LOVE, Angelina.