I think that sometimes we meet people for a reason. There are only three people I've found to be like that.
Where I think God decided to put them there. Destiny is one. Nik is one. And you are one.
You came into my life when it was sorta over for me. The beginning of May was quite terrible for reasons. It was super hard and thats when things began to go down hill, again. I think that when we started talking I didn't see anything of it. Which was true.
I was really really wrong.
You have become one of the most important people I've ever met. One of the most important people in my life. Someone i need.
Need is a really strong word. At least I think. Need is a good word. Its a word you place on things that are worth it.
And I need you.
You're the safest place to go. You're someone who is so above and beyond everything that i have a hard time accepting it for myself. What you do for me i cant even wrap my head around, its crazy insane what has been established here.
You're someone that is worth making myself get out of bed for, worth telling myself "just one more day" for, you're worth doing everything thats the hardest for. These things look so easy. Getting out of bed. Walking to school and coming home breathing the absolute stale air of life's routine. Breathing in general.
A lot of the time, you're the only one i do it for.
You might be laughing and think I'm a loser but people are sucky.
You are not people.
Sometimes I wish that this is not the case, that i could breath on my own and i could get out of bed on my own and i could do so many things on my own.
But my life doesn't work alone.
Im crying really hard right now. I don't know if I'm sorry or not. I don't want to be sorry that I'm alive because of you. I really don't.
I just need you to know for on the days where you don't see yourself as anything because you're spending what you have on others, that I'm here to remind you what and who you are. I need you to know that on the days when you don't know where to go, that I'm here to be some place. I need you to know on the good days, the best days, the bad days, and the even darker days that I will always be here. Always. I made you a promise and it will not break. No matter how far away you go, no matter who comes in and out of your life, no matter how much you think no one can understand and love you, I am here for that. I am here to be a constant. I am here to remind you that you are still human and that you can still make it.
And to remind you that I love you. How ever you are. Who ever you're with. Whatever you're becoming and will become.
We have a whole year ahead of us now. I think it will be a better year than the other years. I know you think the same. I don't know if its because I'm here now or if you are excited about your car and new opportunities, because theres lots of reasons why i know you'll love this year.
I know it will be a better year because of you.
Happy 16th birthday.
this wasn't really at all about your birthday it was pretty much me appreciating you and hoping you know things that you already know. but aside from all of that I'm quite glad you popped out of the womb. you've been the OG since '00. keep it up.
p.s our friendiversary is May 3rd.
yes. i care about friendiversaries.
